Before I even start this post I have to say that I am married to the single most wonderful, kind, patient, understanding, compassionate, beautiful man in the world . That is the only reason I can write today. The only reason I am home, the only reason I have time. Thank you Doc.
Doc recently mentioned to me that I have not blogged in a while, and I realized he was right. I started thinking about how busy I have, well WE have been and decided that was my excuse. We have had a lot of company, I have had to work, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Independence Day....what else can I use as an excuse?? Ok now the truth...when I write it makes things real, and real and pregnant are a little scary for me. To write without even mentioning the pregnancy seems ridiculous, so I just didn't write. So I am sitting here, eating chips in order to be able to sit up without wanting to throw up, and writing with no idea what I am going to say except that I am pregnant. 7 weeks pregnant. I could tell you how it is going so far, but I prefer not to complain about something that I have been praying for for almost two years. That seems ridiculous to me. So for the record, I feel pregnant and complications are few so far. ;)
To say that we are excited is an understatement. The kids are so cute, and Doc is as excited as he was when we were pregnant with Kat. I am praying, praying and praying. I am begging my body to cooperate. I am pleading with Jesus to let this pregnancy be a healthy one, to let it end with a healthy baby and mama in February. Asking Him daily to let me show Kathryne that all babies do not go directly to Jesus, that sometimes we get to keep them with us. I wish I could write and tell you that I have peace about it. But I do not. What I do have is trust. Trust that He knows what is next, trust that He will be there when it happens, trust that no matter what Doc and I will come out on the other side of whatever He has in store strong and faithful. Peace would be a bonus, maybe that will come.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good
and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
They are for good and not disaster. This part makes me smile. I think if Doc was sitting here we would both chuckle thinking about all of our disasters that we have experienced over the last few years and how they have indeed been for good. Understanding that in the midst is of course a whole different ball game. How do you bury a little person, a little boy, and see good in that? Ever? But we have. We have seen Bennett's story touch and changes peoples lives. The Lord is faithful and what He says He means. So we will trust, we will pray for his will and beg for ours. We will understand that we do not choose, we do not decide, He does not bargain with us, but He hears us. We will enjoy this time carrying one of God's miracles, another Hall baby, and look forward to the time when we hold him/her just as we held our girls, just as we will hold our boy. We appreciate all prayers and trust that they are being said.
Okay, there, I wrote about it ;) Now I will pray, and I will write more.