Monday, June 28, 2010

Ice Cream 'till We Puke!

For my anniversary Doc gave me a new book.  I am not a big reader, though I have been engulfed by a few recently, and this happens to be one of them. The Shack .  Have you read it?  Oh my.  Without ruining it for you I will tell you that it makes you want to go to heaven, and I mean now ;).  It's a wonderful book that brings peace to your soul and helps you to swallow loss a little easier.  In short, I love it.

I finished it today in the midst of my girls playing and laughing around me.  There was a point where I had all three of my babies in the room with me.  Scooter and Presley playing together and Bennett sitting with me while I read the end of this wonderful book.   These are the moments that bring me peace,  that take away the heavy blanket of sadness that seems to be forever draped over my shoulders.  These are the moments that remind me that Bennett is happy, safe, and fully content in the love of our Lord and I do not need to worry about him for another second!  These are the moments that keep me sane.  Thank you Lord for these moments. 

We are about 6 weeks out from our due date, so maybe 3 from when he should have been born.  I would be lying to you if I told you that I was doing just fine.  I have a lot of sadness that I don't really even notice anymore.  It's just there, like an ache or pain that you learn to live with and until it flares up or something aggravates it you hardly notice it anymore.  That is how this pain is.  I just carry it with me and occasionally something he would have loved to do, someone he would have loved to meet, aggravates it and brings the pain to the surface.  This weekend we went for ice cream as a family with my mom, and there it was.  A gentle, yet aggravating reminder that he was not there and was never going to be.  I couldn't even get any ice cream, it just did not seem fair.  But then I read this book and it was a glaring reminder that Bennett is having a lot more ice cream than I am (okay who am I fooling, most people have more ice cream than I do) but you get my point.  Bennett is just fine, just like my granddaddy or my father in law.  They are better than fine, they are wonderful beyond comprehension.  That's the thing about people dying, we grieve for ourselves, because grieving for them is absurd, they get to go to heaven!!

Boy oh boy, I cannot wait to have an ice cream with my little man.  But on the other hand I wouldn't want to miss a minute with my sweet girls.  I believe that there is no sense of loss in heaven.  I don't believe that Bennett is up there scared or lost without me, I believe he is perfectly content with his Heavenly Father.  My girls on the other hand could probably use me for a few more years.  So ice cream with my blue eyed, dimpled buddy will have to wait.  But when I get there, be it tomorrow or 70 years from now, he and I are going to eat ice cream until we make ourselves SICK! ;).

Love and Blessings Friends,

Friday, June 25, 2010

Four and Fifty

Hello friends,

I hope you are all having a wonderful week.  This week I celebrated my anniversary!  I have been married to Doc for four wonderful years.  Last night we celebrated with dinner at Stoney River and dessert at Krispy Kreme (a Hall favorite!).  It was wonderful.  Isn't it amazing how much fun it is to eat without children when you have children?  I mean the fact that I got through an entire meal without being sticky, having to threaten Scooter with a trip to the ladies room, AND I got to chew my food was HEAVENLY!!  What a great night with the man of my dreams.  Thank you Janet for taking care of my girls so that I could go and enjoy myself. 

It's funny how some things seem like they were yesterday and other's like they were a hundred years ago.  I cannot believe that Doc and I have only been married for 4 years.  It seems like ten.  Now, I mean that in a nice way, not like IT SEEMS LIKE TEN!! ;)  We have just done SO much in 4 years!  We have gotten him out of school, moved three times, had three children, and started a business!  I mean seriously folks, we are not wasting any time here at the Hall house.  It has by far been the most stressful, taxing, difficult, fun, wonderful, amazing, blessed four years of my life, and I wouldn't trade a moment of it!!

I am so grateful for the husband that I have.  I an grateful that he is honest with me.  I am grateful that is strong and determined.  I am grateful that I can trust him completely without hesitation.  I am grateful that he works so hard to provide for us.  I am grateful that he loves me so much. And don't tell him, but I am grateful that he is careful and deliberate about EVERYTHING.  For those of you who don't know him, Doc is not impulsive.  At all. Ever.  And as frustrating as that is at times, I think that it is a wonderful trait in the leader of the family.  Now there are times when it just plain drives me nuts.  For instance, when he was in school he needed a back pack we looked at the same backpack three times before he bought it.  I mean we actually went to the store three different times, it was unreal.  By the end of it, I was like JUST BUY THE BACKPACK!!! Sweet, sweet Doc.  He just wants to be SURE and sometimes he misses out, or we do, but most of the time his patience pays off.  The truth is that I pretty much get everything that I want. So really if I am just patient, which I am, it always works out in my favor ;). 

I am going to be honest with you, I really don't even remember my life before Doc. I mean I do, but I don't.  Truthfully, most of the things that I did before him, I  remember with him there. It was always just so easy for us.  We were married very quickly, because it was just easy.  That's how I believe it should be.  Easy.  I am so blessed to have a husband that makes it easy, I realize that is not always the case.  Four years of easy and 50 more to go, what a great future I have to look forward too ;).  We have so much more life to live together. There will be joy and sorrow, trials and tragedy, and plenty of bumps along the way.  I rest peacefully in the fact that I have him to live it with and know that God is walking along side of us planning each step.  

Happy Friday my friends!


Monday, June 21, 2010

A good daddy is hard to find, or is He?

I hope you all had a wonderful Father's Day!  We sure did!  As a matter of fact, our Father's Day went so well that Scooter thought it was her birthday!  This worked out perfect since she has been asking for one for a week!   Doc went out and bought a plastic pool for the girls and put it in the back yard. We got out there and I said, "oh Scooter, daddy got you a new pool!" and she replied, "yes, mama, it's my birthday!".  Priceless. 

This Father's day was bitter sweet for us in quite a few ways.  First and foremost, Doc has not spent a Father's day with his daddy in 15 years.  Don died in 1995.  Secondly, this was a reminder that our little fellow is no longer here with us and will not be here in August, or next Father's Day or the one after that.  We thought about him a lot.  But it does make us smile that he is up in heaven with Don.  We laughed talking about how Don probably has him running sprints and eating protein in his cereal.  I bet they are having a ball. 

Finally, this was the first Father's Day that I did not see my daddy in 35 years. I missed him so much!  I am big daddy's girl and I know there was a piece of him that thought I was going to drive up in that driveway with these girls yesterday afternoon, and there was a piece of me that wished I had.  I have a great daddy.  He is funny and kind and one of the most generous people I know.  We have so much fun together and my husband and my girls absolutely adore him!!  This makes me love him that much more. 

The older I get the more I realize that a good daddy is hard to find. I look at my dad and Doc and I see what a huge blessing they are.  Not everyone has a good daddy.  Not everyone's daddy would do absolutely anything in the whole world for them.  Not everyone's daddy changes diapers or gets up in the middle of the night with the babies.  Not everyone's daddy pushes them around on a tricycle in a baby pool for 20 minutes when it's 90 degrees outside :).   Not everyone's daddy can win a diaper changing contest at church in front of the entire congregation on Father's Day!!   Good daddy's are truly a gift from God. 

It was a great day for our little family. The girls and I celebrated our daddies here on earth and our Father in heaven that loves us more that we can ever imagine.  That's the best thing about Father's Day in my opinion.  If your earthly father is no longer here with you, or he is but falls short of greatness, there is always the celebration of your heavenly Father.

Psalm 139: 13-17 tells us:
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

Your Father in heaven created you in your mother's womb, He has written all of your days for you, you were fearfully and wonderfully made BY HIM!! What an amazing daddy!! He is truly the One to celebrate!  He is the reason my girls and I have great daddies, He is the one who blessed us with them. Yesterday, we celebrated Him, today we will celebrate Him again.  My prayer is that everyday at our house is Father's day.  I believe that is the only way that my girls will grow up and know Him and love Him with all of their heart.  Happy Father's day my friends, yesterday, today, and tomorrow. 


Saturday, June 19, 2010

Happy Birthday.

My girls nap at different times of the day.  Presley is not quite old enough to make it on one nap just yet.  As frustrating as that is some days, most of the time I love it.  I get one on one with both of them everyday, they need it and so do I.  The other day Presley was down and Scooter and I were sitting at the bar listening to music while she had her "snack".  All food at my house is a snack and most of it comes in a bowl.  I am not sure how that happened, but it did and we just go with it.  In reality she was eating breakfast. 

So there we sit, listening to Taylor Swift and hanging out together and she smiles at me with her big blue eyes and her misplaced dimples and whispers something that I did not quite catch.  But what I did get is that she was asking for something that she really wanted and was not sure if she could have or not.  So she was doing that thing that kids do where they ask for it as sweetly as possible hoping that their charm will get them what they want.  And why not? It usually works right!? So I asked her to repeat herself, this time, a little louder but just as sweetly with just as big of a smile she whispers, "mama, I want a birthday".  I pretty sure my heart skipped a beat.  It was precious.  Not just what she asked for but the way she asked it.  I smiled back at her and said, "Scooter, it's not your birthday baby".  She's not old enough to really understand that yet so she continued, "mama, please can I have a birthday". 

I couldn't take it!  I went out and bought streamers, a pinata, a cake, some candles, some goody bags and invited over the neighbors! Not really.  But truthfully I considered it.  I mean why not right!? Who does not want a birthday?  Okay, aging aside, birthdays are pretty awesome if you do it right.  My family always said that my birthdays lasted at least couple of weeks, and in my twenties I think they did.  Kids are smart.  I mean why ask for a cookie, or a movie, or a toy?  Why not ask for an entire day to revolve around you!?  A day where you get to eat what you want (within reason ;)), you get presents, you get friends to celebrate with you, and sometimes it includes awesome things like go carts or skating or some big blow up toy you jump in! 

Amazing.  It blew me away that she even thought of it.  A birthday.  I want a birthday too.  I want a day that revolves around me. I want to sleep late, go get a pedicure, take a nap, dinner at my favorite restaurant and all of my friends to come celebrate ME with me! Don't you!? Oh my sweet Scooter.  I sat there for a second and thought about it, and then I said to her Scooter, I know someone you can call that will give you a birthday baby.  We called my mom and dad.  Big answered and Scooter said "Big, I want a birthday" and in true Big fashion he said "baby I'll give you a birthday".  And I have no doubt that next time they see her, she'll get a birthday of sorts.  It may not include the song, but there will be yummy things to eat and presents, you can bank on that.  I hope you have a great weekend friends, and that one day soon you get a "birthday";).

Love and Blessings,

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

"Calgon, take me away!!!"

Being the wife of a doctor requires two things 1) a complete understanding and belief in what it is that he/she does and 2) patience.   I love my kids, I do.  They are wonderful.  I am so blessed that I get to stay home with them everyday.  But seriously everyone, and I mean everyone, needs someone else to wipe a butt every now and then.  Being the wife of a doctor in a city where you know very few people does not really allow for this.  I mean really, if we are being completely honest with one another, I just want someone else to change one poopy diaper every two days or so! Now don't get me wrong here friends, Doc will hang in there on a poopy diaper with the best of them.  So it is not that he WILL not change one, it's that he HAS not changed one.  And the has not is a result of him not being here when the time is right.  Forgive me for going on and on about it, but it has been too long since I have had a day where the only butt I had to wipe was my own, and too many days with too many butts can push a girl right over the edge. 

Do you remember that commercial when we (and when I say we I mean those of us over 30) were younger for Calgon?  It was bath salts or powder or something.  Anyway, the slogan was "Calgon take me away!!".  Do you remember?  There was always a relaxed mom, after a hard day, in the tub with suds all around her pretending that Calgon whisked her off to a beautiful island somewhere with no stress or troubles.  Seriously!?  Let me tell you something, if you are a mom, working or stay at home, short of Calgon being laced with tequila and coming with a straw, you and I both know that's not going to cut it. 

I mean a nice hot bath sounds great.  Heck, a shower by myself would be FANTASTIC.  But what person do you know with children any younger than 16 has time to sit in a bath tub for more than about 5 minutes?  There is no bath, there is no down time, heck at the age my kids are there is rarely a hot meal.  Therefore, you long for the things that are attainable, and for me that happens to be someone else changing one out of 17 poopy diapers (or so I thought until we moved to TN and started a practice).   

So here I sit, talking to you and eating trail mix with both of my clean little butts in their beds.  My sweet chiropractor is still at work, getting his butt kicked and wishing he was coming home to a yummy dinner.  Unfortunately for him, tonight that is about as realistic as my poopy diaper dream.  I just could not do it tonight.  I could not mess up my entire kitchen for him to eat at 9 o'clock, and he understood because that is the kind of husband he is, wonderful.  Wonderful with dimples, you can't beat that. 

Tomorrow is Wednesday and Wednesdays Doc is home a little early.  Who knows, maybe I will get that diaper break after all.  If not, that's okay.  I will change the diapers and I will take my showers in groups and I will (not tonight but usually) heat up his dinner when he gets home because while I am doing all of that he is doing something that I believe in with all of my heart and (most days) the Lord blesses me with just enough patience ;).

Have a great night friends.  Love and Blessings, Melanie

Sunday, June 13, 2010

A Long Hot Bath

Well here we are at the beginning of another week.  It was a bitter sweet weekend here in Franklin TN. Bitter because Doc was away, sweet because my sister and her three wonderful kids came to see us.  Ahh...home at home...there is nothing like it. We have been in TN for almost a year and Steph has been to visit twice.  Every time she leaves I think about all of the ways to convince her to move  here so that we can all be together, but in my heart I know she is never moving that far away from mom.  Steph is a mama's girl through and  through, and now that I have a mama's girl (Presley) I know how much my mama must LOVE that she still has one at 36. 

We had a great time, we ate ice cream and played at the park, Scooter was in heaven.  When they left yesterday she was devastate, she begged to go, she cried and pleaded and would not even kiss them goodbye (hoping that they would have to stay if she didn't).  All in all, she was pitiful.  I felt so bad for her that I was in tears too.  I don't really know how you explain to a two year old why she only sees her favorite people once a month or once every two.  Honestly, I don't know how you explain a lot of things to a two year old.  Yesterday I mended her wounds with cookies (gluten, dairy and egg free of course) and Cinderella.  Isn't it wonderful how little it takes to take away the hurt in a small child? A kiss, a cookie, a movie, or maybe even a new toy if its a BIG hurt.  Regardless, for anywhere from 0 to 5 dollars you can basically make everything okay in the world of a child. 

If only it were that simple in our world.  Can you imagine? Lose your job; eat a cookie, wreck your car; get a kiss, lose a loved one; buy new movie.  Boy wouldn't it be great if that was all it took?  I was trying to figure out why it isn't that easy for us?   Is it that our wounds are bigger than theirs? That our wounds are more important? Or maybe just that we understand the significance of a wound more than they do.  The more I thought about it yesterday, as I sat beside my sweet girl and played with her curls while she ate her cookies and watched her movie, the more I realized that it could be that easy for me, for all of us. Our hurts and pains could be taken away with a gift just like our children's are if we let them.  You see, children have a wonderful way of letting go of the past and focusing on the future.  They see what they have to gain rather than what they have lost.  Imagine if as parents, we always let them do this.  Imagine what their lives could be like. 

Take a moment and think about what your life would be like if during your biggest disappointment someone would have given you a gift and made you see that there is something more to life than just that moment, that pain.  Oh my, how silly I have been.  How silly any and all of us have been.  Here we are in the world full of money and possessions where the "good movies" include sex and violence.  A world where the bad guy wins more than the good guy and a whole family is a novelty rather than a norm.  We are surrounded by and distracted by greed, obsession and gluttony wondering why when something goes wrong that is all we can see.  And yet we have been given a gift beyond all comprehension.  We have actually been given a gift large than anything we can buy or steal or win.  Our Lord has given us the gift of eternal life, and not here on earth with the struggles and frustrations, but in heaven.  We are told in Revelations:

"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." (Revelation 21:4)

No pain, no death, no sorrow, no crying and to top it off, all of the bad is wiped away.  The past is gone, the memories, the hurt, the ugly, all of it, GONE.  Boy the girl scouts could sell the heck out of a cookie like that huh!? ;) 

This is it friends.  This is your kiss, your cookie, your movie, your 5 dollar toy.  And truthfully, it should mend any wound regardless of the size.  I have a hole in my heart the size of a softball that has been there for months.  I function, I play with my kids, I am a decent wife, friend, sibling, daughter, but that hole affects me everyday.  It is by far the largest, deepest and most painful wound I have ever had and honestly I am not the person I was before it was there.  Shame on me.  Shame on me for not seeing the gift before me and letting it take away my hurt.  Shame on me for not showing my girls that there is Someone/something that takes away all of our hurt and all of our pain and believing that with all of my heart.  Shame on me for not rejoicing in my future with all of my loved ones in heaven, my grandparents, my father in law, my Mamaw, my Bennett and rejoicing for them that they are there!  Shame on me for missing one moment here on earth with the ones that are still with me because all I can focus on is the hurt that I have been handed at this point in my life. And shame on you if you are doing the same.

What kind of example is that for my girls?  What kind of parent am I if I don't teach them, by example, about faith especially at the most crucial times in my life?!  I want this for them so badly.  I want them to take life and live it fully with no fears.  I know that they will be knocked down time and time again.  I know their hearts and spirits will be broken more than once.  I know that I cannot protect them from all of the evil in this world that we live in.  So if I want them to be fearless, but I cannot guarantee their safety or their happiness then how do I teach them not to be afraid?!  My only answer is faith.  I have to teach them to fear nothing but the Lord.  I have to teach them to have faith that whatever life hands them He is there walking with them through it.  I have to teach them to turn to Him and lean on Him and know that this is only the beginning of what He has in store for them.  They must understand that this short 100 years or so is just a grain of sand on the miles and miles of beach that He has waiting for them in heaven.  Just imagine what their lives will be like if they really get that! They will be able to mourn and move forward.  They will be able to hurt with confidence that it will not last, knowing that it will not break them.  Their hearts and their spirits will be mended with the gift that only One can give them. 

Oh friends, this is my heart, my goal, my life.  This is so badly what I want to do as a parent.  But I know that I cannot do this with words.  I realize that this means I too have to fear only the Lord, I too have to understand that He is with me and let Him kiss away my wounds and mend them with His gift.  What a wonderful life I will have lived if I succeed at this and only this.  This is my prayer for all of us.  Happy Sunday my friends.  Enjoy the gift the Lord has given you.  Soak in it like a long hot bath and let the rest wash away. 

What can wash away my sin?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Oh! precious is the flow
That makes me white as snow;
No other fount I know,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

For my pardon, this I see,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
For my cleansing this my plea,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Nothing can for sin atone,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
Naught of good that I have done,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

This is all my hope and peace,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
This is all my righteousness,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Now by this I’ll overcome—
Nothing but the blood of Jesus,
Now by this I’ll reach my home—
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Glory! Glory! This I sing—
Nothing but the blood of Jesus,
All my praise for this I bring—
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.


Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Moments Of Peace

Hello friends. I am sure you have noticed that I renamed the blog. Being a blog beginner, I did not realize that you could have a different name and web address, nor did I know what I really wanted to name the blog, I just wanted to get started. So for about 1000 reasons, and with the help of Doc (thanks baby), I decided to go with Moments Of Peace. This morning I was reminded how appropriate that was. Obviously as a mother of two toddlers (Presley is getting around just fine now) I do not have many moments of peace. So, the name probably seems ridiculous.

However, daily peace was never what this blog was about. This blog was about peace for my soul, peace for my heart that was broken in March, and peace from the chaos that is the memories of the loss of our son. That is why I started writing, that is why I am writing today. We are nine weeks from our due date, which means about 7 weeks from holding our son (we come early every time!)and yet there is no belly, there are no uncomfortable nights, no kicks, no birthing kit, no pool to be tested and no plans to be made because there is no baby. He has already come and he has already gone home to Jesus. The irony is that as much peace as this brings me, it does not take away the physical emptiness that haunts me. There is something unexplainable about the way you feel when you should be pregnant but aren't. All I can tell you is that I am praying that is subsides once the due date has passed.
As I am writing Presley looks up at me and smiles with her giant blue eyes and I know that all is as it should be. I am blessed beyond measure and I realize that. I will be grateful everyday and anticipate holding that baby boy when I get to heaven. In the mean time I will long for and rejoice in the Moments Of Peace that my Lord allows me while I grieve for the loss of my sweet Bennett.

Thank you friends for being with me through this season of my life, I appreciate you more than you know and I pray for each of you every day! Have a wonderful day.


Prayers on Tuesday.

My girls are getting up earlier and earlier. I don't really understand it. We used to be a 7:30 to 7:30 family and now we are more like a 6:15 to 8:00 family. I have no idea what changed , but if you know how to fix it I would appreciate an email. I am NOT a morning person, I do not want to be awake before dark, I have no desire to eat before 8:00 AM and unless I am going to the beach, I am not usually awake enough to drive anywhere before 8:30 AM. I get that there are those of you who bounce right up at 5:30 AM, and I commend you for it but I have no desire to join you. Doc has a few mornings where he has to get up really early, Tuesday mornings and Friday mornings, poor guy is not a morning person either. If I were a REALLY good wife I would jump up and cook him some breakfast to start his day. But, unfortunately for him, this is a lacking area for me. Occasionally I can get some fried eggs or a protein shake in him before he goes, but that is usually on a "first patient at 8:30AM day".

So I am sitting here chatting with you at 7:30 AM and I have been up for over an hour. Doc left with me laying on the couch, he was just laughing at me and got in a "tough life you got Hall" before he closed to the door on his way out. ;) Okay so he is right, 7:3o AM on the couch is WAY better than 9:00 AM in the office. I will let you all know, that I have done my share of 9:00 AM in the office, I have even done 7:30 AM in the office. Until I was through my first trimester with Presely I worked full time and had for my entire adult life. So, I may not be part of that world now, but I do understand what it means to be there. I know, this does not make you any happier as you read from a cubicle.

It's only Tuesday and two of my closest friends have had their whole lives changed this week. Both involved in custody cases with their children, two completely different circumstance, but essentially the same outcome: they have to share their kids. This idea is hard for me to even comprehend. I don't even like to leave my kids with my own mother over night, I cannot imagine being court ordered to leave them with an ex-whoever for three days a week, every week. Further more, I do not understand how someone who does not know either parent involved, their history, their parenting skills or their capabilities to take care of a child, gets to decide who gets the children when!? Whose idea was this!? I personally think each parent should have to provide character references in court before anyone makes any decisions. I am "not a mama should always get the kids" person. I get that there are just as many unfit mothers as their are unfit fathers. I am well aware of that fact that some daddies (like my children's) are just as capable of taking care of their kids as their mama is. And this furthers my point of the judge needing to know more before making a decision.

Regardless, this is not always the case and sometimes it does not work out the way we think it should. Yesterday was a perfect example of this. One of my friends could have used some character references. I wish I could have been there for her. Today I will wait for yet another judge, who knows nothing about the three people involved, to decide the fate of another child that I love. I pray that the Lord gives this judge the wisdom they need to make the best decision possible with limited time and facts.

This morning I look at my sweet girls and I am so thankful for their daddy, not because of the daddy that he is, because of the husband that he is. After all, isn't it usually the type of partner a person is that keeps you out of court rather than the type of parent? Today I will pray for my friends that will be sharing their kids for many years to come, I will pray for the judges that will make these difficult decisions, I will pray for the children that will be shuffled back and forth in all of the chaos, and I will pray for the marriages that are still in tact asking God to protect them from this crazy world that results in more split families than whole families. If you have a moment today I hope you will pray with me, and if you are lucky enough to be part of a family that is still whole, make sure to send up a praise for that too! Have a blessed day friends.


Friday, June 4, 2010

How do you peel a cantaloupe?

It's Friday, I have made breakfast for Doc, cleaned the house, bathed Scooter and Clyde (her daddy's new nickname), given my blog a face lift, made a journal entry for each of the girls, talked to my mom, my brother and my dad. It sounds like I have been very productive, but the truth is I am standing here eating left over cheeseless pizza, listening to Miley Cyrus sing a ridiculous song while still in my pjs. Aaahhhh...the freedom that is the stay at home mom.

I love the weekends, live for them. I know that sounds absolutely ridiculous considering that I am home everyday of the week. I mean honestly, there are days that I wake up wondering if it is Tuesday or Wednesday. But Friday I know! Friday afternoon starts 60 hours with Doc and that my friends makes me very happy! ;)

Doc is what most of you would call a "keeper". A keeper means that there are more goods than bads, pros than cons, ups than downs, positives than negatives...okay yeah you get it, sorry I got a little carried away. He is by far the best man I have ever met which is why I agreed to marry him 6 months after we started dating. I am not stupid.

Now, I know everyone has things that they love about their husband. Maybe yours keeps the grass cut, buys you flowers, vacuums, is handy around the house, makes you laugh, maybe he washes you car, pumps your gas, maybe he knows that right flavor of ice cream to bring you on the worst of days, maybe he writes in his cards rather than just buying a lengthy one, maybe he helps change diapers, gets up with the babies, maybe he's just a really good dad, or maybe, if you are really blessed like I am, he does ALL of that AND since you have been married you have never had to peel your own cantaloupe. I know, I know, it sounds too good to be true, but it is.

I am telling you I am no dummy, I knew what I was doing when I dumped (he who will not be named) for my sweet Doc. The truth is I had already married the wrong guy, so I was really hoping to marry the right one this time. It took me a little longer to find him than I would have like, so I don't think we'll get our football team like we were hoping, but he sure makes pretty little girls!

Mignon McLaughlin, an American Journalists, said it perfectly when she said, "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person". And she should have followed it with, "a good husband makes this a lot easier".

I am looking forward to my weekend with my chiropractor. I know that whether we are busy or not (which we are this weekend we actually have PLANS with people that live in TN!!) it will be awesome because he makes it so easy to fall in love with him over and over again. In addition to that, I have a ripe cantaloupe in the fridge ;). Can't wait to see you baby!!

Enjoy your weekend friends, I know I will!!

oh, p.s. I hope you like the new page! If you can think of anything I should add send me an email or a comment!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Lay With Me.

Well, another week is almost over! Where does the time go and how is it June already? It amazes me how time flies, I was just telling Doc how there is no possible way that I have lived for 35 years. My best years have been my thirties, by far. Don't get me wrong, me twenties were a BLAST, but it was a different kind of fun. My thirties have been filled with love, blessings and grace. They have been wonderful.

I remember being a kid and my parents talking about how quickly time went by, I was in my teens in the middle of a school year and thought, "yeah right!". But again, they were right. It goes by quickly and the older I get the more I try and cherish the little moments. Presley has just started to walk well, and I am having so much fun watching her explore the house, even on the days she obsesses over flushing the toilet! I don't want to miss anything. If I have learned anything over the last years it is that we don't know how much time He has planned for us so we better enjoy every second that we can!!

Sometimes this is not as easy as I would like with my teething 13 month old and my potty training two year old! Some days I have seen more poop and slobber than one woman should see in a lifetime. Just when I think I can't take anymore, my two year old with her poop covered butt in the air for me to wipe says, "is it gross mama?" I laugh out loud and remember how lucky I am that I am home to wipe her little butt everyday. Then we share some strawberries and read Snow White. God rocks!

By the end of my day I am beat, just like we all are after a full day of work. Doc comes home, we eat dinner, I make a quick wish for the kitchen to miraculously clean itself and out we go with the girls to catch lightning bugs. (Nope, it never happens but a girl has the right to dream.) Scooter is at that age where she wants immediate gratification and nothing is ever enough. Go to the park, cry all the way home for the sliding board, go get a treat, beg for another one for two get the point. So by the time we get her in, get her bathed, read her a story and get Presley relaxed enough and soothed enough to go to bed with her sore little mouth, I have had it. Then it comes, I say Scooter's prayers, kiss her goodnight, and as I am walking out she says. "mama, lay with me".

I am a good mama, the kind of mama that loves her babies more than life but still has boundaries and a routine that I stick too. I am aware of the manipulations of a two year old, how after weeks of trying to get them to say yes ma'am without prompting it slides right out of their little mouth at just the right time. I try not to baby my girls too much, I want them to be strong independent kids and Doc and I both parent for that.

Recently, I have come to a realization. As I am raising these girls and teaching them and watching them become independent, I better hold onto the moments where they still want mommy. I better cherish the extra hugs and kisses, the "mama play with me" requests. I better embrace the times where they look at me and need me or want me, whichever the case may be. Because one day, their butts won't need to be wiped and they won't want me to hold them in public. One day they will take their own bath, and make their own lunch. One day Snow White, with all of my cheesy character voices, will be lame rather than funny, she will say her own prayers, and when I kiss her goodnight and walk out, she will roll over, wipe off that kiss, and go to sleep. So until that day comes, I have decided that no matter how long the day, no matter how thin my patience has been worn, no matter how much I long for a break, if she asks me too, I'm going to lay with her. After all, one day I am going to wake up and another 35 years will have gone by. And, if my prayers are answered, my girls will have their own families and their own lives. I promise you that I don't want to look back and wish I had held them a little longer when I had the chance.

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! Psalm 127: 3-5

Blessings sweet friends!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Catch Up!

Hello Sweet Friends!

I hope you all had a fabulous holiday weekend with your families. We sure had a great one. We have only lived in TN for a little less than a year, so it it still lots of fun for me to have a visitor! One of my dear friends came on Sunday and spent two days with us. It was wonderful! The girls love "Ms. Keelee" (as Scooter calls her) and so do I! Doc only worked half a day on Monday, what a treat!! We had a great day filled with yummy food and lots of outside time. The girls were pooped!!

Monday we went out to see Bennett, I took Kelly and showed her where he was buried. She took some great pictures of the girls with "our bridge" in the background. It's funny because it's almost like that bridge IS our little one. I see it and it makes me smile, and every time I send a picture of it to Doc's phone and he smiles with me. It was a great day with all of our babies.

Back to reality, Doc is back at work and I am home wiping little butts and washing dishes. God is good! In a couple of weeks Doc will have to go back to ATL for a seminar and my sister is coming with her three kids! I am so excited! I can't wait to hold that baby. I love everything about the tiny ones, they are my favorite!!

We have big changes coming up with our business, we just hired some help for Doc and we know that she is going to be wonderful! We are very excited and we hope that this helps us to grow and gets Doc home a little more! God is answering our prayers everyday. We know that He has a plan for us, we are just excited about seeing where He takes us.

Oh one more shout out to some of my favorites today. My sweet Canadian friend is due August 25th with her second baby and if it's a girl, they are naming her after me!! I cannot even tell you how touched I am. I think it's a boy, but I am praying for a girl ;). That's a sneaky way to get me back to Canada eh?

It's been a great few days, and Wednesdays Doc gets home a little early, so we are looking forward to another great afternoon. Prayers for you all, a special one for Sam and Cuz. Love you guys!

Have a great day friends!