Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Happy New Year Social Media

Well here we are friends, at the end of yet another year.  A year that may or may not have been one of your best.  That may or may not have been memorable.  But fear not!  If there are highlights that you have forgotten, moments that you would like to relish in one final time, there is always Facebook to remind you.  Not only will it remind you, it will actually give you a play by play depending on how often you were willing to post the "status" of your day, week, life. So let's all wish a Happy New Year to Social Media!!

Oh social media, how we can always depend on you to encourage us and raise our self esteem by reminding us how we once again missed the bar that was set so high by all 456 of our friends.  Thank you.  Thank you for the reality that my life, my financial status, my marriage, my children, my cooking skills, my fitness level, my faith, my weight, my parenting, my craftiness, even my pets cannot measure up those of everyone that I went to grade school with. 

How can I possibly set New Years resolutions knowing that you will be there, on January 8th, to remind me that I failed and that Cindy is still diligently reading her bible, Laurie is still going to the gym at 5:45 AM and Jane and her husband have saved $250 already?  Oh how I cannot wait for lent so that I can give you up for 40 days (with exception of at night when everyone is asleep of course) and not have to see how successful Melissa's husband is or how Hannah's comes home at 5PM everyday and washes the dishes while simultaneously feeding the baby so that she can go for a long walk with her favorite Starbucks.  I mean don't get me wrong, sure I am happy that Joe Jr. is top of his class at Harvard and Billy (who is 8) already has scouts eyeing him for the Braves. And of course I celebrate with little Sophie's parents as she reads her sight words at 16 months. And Katie, that 65 lbs that she has lost, AMAZING!! Even more amazing that she did it with no exercise while eating ice cream!! When will she post that after picture anyway? 

Truthfully Facebook/Twitter it would behoove me and my family if for 2014 you would just shut down.  That way I don't feel obligated to post a status.  I mean seriously how can I compete?!  There is no possible way.  My oldest will be six on the 19th of January and she can barely read in sentences. My second, while beautiful and frighteningly smart in many ways, she doesn't know what a door knob is. Both CAN sing most of the Taylor Swift album so there is that.  I have a 14 month old baby that runs my home and I didn't shower at all yesterday.  What kind of post can I get out of  any of this!??

Furthermore, my house is a wreck. I am at least 5 loads of laundry behind.  I have two sinks full of dishes. Two nights ago my kids got eggs and toast for dinner and my husband, he got nothing.   We don't all sit together to eat every night and we usually forget to pray before we eat. PLEASE don't tell anyone else that!!  We have a gym membership that we don't use.  We fight, we argue, we cry, we cuss and if we were capable of handling it, we would drink.  We don't always like our family and they certainly don't always like us.  My hair hasn't been it's natural color in years and Doc, well he doesn't have any.  Not only does he not get home by 5 he usually doesn't make it until after six and once again, I usually haven't showered when he gets here.  This is it. This is life.  This is real.  Like it or not Facebook the best status I have so far today is "Josie pooped and when I changed it I got it all over myself and her feet".  BOOM top that.  But don't worry, tonight I am making Red Snapper and I will be posting a pic of the one serving I put on a real plate for everyone to see!!!! 

Happy New Year Social Media! 

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Who needs Santa Claus when you have Santa Doc.

Well here we are 13 days away from Christmas.  The closer it gets the more I realize that I am possibly the least prepared mom in the entire world.  Don't get me wrong, we have a tree and some precious decor out on our front porch that Doc appeased me with even before Thanksgiving Day. However, we have not bought one gift.  Not one.  Well that is a lie. I have not bought a gift. My husband on the other hand.....he has.  He has a gift.  One perfect, amazing, selfless gift.  A gift that will go down in history as possibly the best gift I will have ever received.  A gift that is not only one for me and only me but includes a bonus.  More than a bonus actually, it includes a trip.  Okay, Okay I'll get on with it.  You are wondering aren't you.  What has he done this time?  How he could possibly be any more thoughtful, wonderful, amazing than she already says he is??   And part of you wishes I would just say it and the other part would rather eat poop than hear another great story about my husband!  Ugh.  I get it. I feel the same way every time I see a face book post about a friend who has been on a cruise or to a concert I would love.  Or someone who had a seamless pregnancy that ended in a nursing baby.  Part of me thinks "good for her" and the other part wishes Facebook would crash so I could get on with my life and make my 156th batch of formula.  I digress, the gift. 

Before I tell you about the gift I would like to put a disclaimer here.  If you are mad at your husband, if you never get anything you want for Christmas, if you have not been on vacation in a long time....DO NOT READ THIS BLOG.  It very possibly may push you over the edge.  It would have pushed me clear off a cliff had it not been a gift FOR ME.  GET ON WITH IT MELANIE. Okay you asked for it. 

I must tell you the story, it is the only way I can give full credit to everyone involved.  Let's call it BEST CHRISTMAS GIFT EVER (I'll work on titles before I start my book this will do for now)

Once upon a time there was a girl......yeah okay 110+ blogs later I don't need to introduce you to myself or my life.  Let's try again....

So, a couple of weekends ago my mom was here to help AGAIN.  Doc had gone to ATL to teach a class.  The weekend had been long and resulted in me up one night trying to get the stupid gun case open in case I needed to kill an intruder at 1:30 am.  Needless to say I had missed my husband.  Mom came on Sunday and surprised the girls and Doc was due at about 5.  We were sitting around chatting with mama and in walks my husband at about 2:30.  I greeted him like he had been gone for three months rather than 48 hours, but that's just how we do it here in the world of chaos that also includes one long honeymoon period.  He came in settled in with his things walks into the kitchen and asks me to give the baby to my mom, he has something he wants to talk to me about.  So I hand off Josie and into the bedroom we go, door shut behind us. 

He has something he want to read to me he says. A post from FB that he saw.  I think absolutely nothing of it, this man has done this countless times.  He says, " I read this and it made me think of you. Dear Jill..."  He proceeds to read a letter that I will do a grave injustice by trying to duplicate.  I will say this, it was a letter from a man to his stay at home mom/housewife.  A beautifully written letter about how he desperately wants to get her the perfect Christmas gift.  A gift of things like sleep, food, no dishes, long walks, coffee with friends, time to relax.  A letter than EVERY housewife on the planet would want to be written to her.  I am standing there, he is reading it and I am crying.  Yep.  I am a giant sap.  "Why are you crying" says my sweet husband. It's just really sweet that you thought of me when you read this letter!!  (and who is this Jill lady!!? I bet she is about to get something awesome for Christmas!!)  At this point he had to be concerned that if the FB post letter had me this worked up, I may just pass out when the rest comes.  He finishes a portion of the letter and he tells me that there is a video that went with the post I should watch.  So I walk over stand next to him and he hits play.  It is a woman sitting on her couch finishing the letter.  This is the woman who the letter was written for.  Her amazing husband had written this letter to her and she was reading the end.  Pretty cool huh!!? 

Okay I am not done....So he hits play and there on her couch, reading this letter with her Christmas tree in the back ground and her little girl walking back in front of the camera is Meg.  Yep Meg.  My Meg.  My favorite Canadian, 2000 mile away BFF Meg. So at this point she is reading, I am watching and I am thinking (no way to make this up) I am thinking I am about to see Meg get a REALLY cool gift!!!  Yep.  That's the way I roll.  So she continues to read...something like this.  "So I spoke with an old friend and I thought of the perfect gift" BOOM!  There it was.  She starts to cry and I hear Kit tell her to keep reading.  I at this point have decided that the Newfield's are either coming to TN or the Hall's are going to Canada.  Either way I have lost all self control and have moved from sweet, touching tears to ugly cry.  (By the way I haven't seen Meg in over two years but we talk DAILY). She reads the following "I am sending you on a trip.   A four day, three night trip to Santa Monica, CA."  And SHE SAYS TO HER HUSBAND "By myself!??"  Okay so maybe I was ahead of her here.  "Keep reading" he tells her.  YES KEEP READING FOR THE LOVE OF PETE I AM DYING OVER HERE!!!  So she reads on and it says a trip to give you all the things you deserve blah blah blah.....etc etc etc....and then it comes.  She reads "But that's not the best part" and it wasn't.  "The best part is I am sending you with MEL"  INSERT FIREWORKS, MUSIC, OPENING HEAVENS HERE. 
At this point Shawn is pretty much holding me up.  I am beyond consolable and cannot BELIEVE what she just said.  Meg continues through tears to asks all the right questions: Is it booked? Is this for real? Paid for? Finished? A done deal??  She's asking I am wondering all answers are yes. 

So to catch you up if I lost you in the excitement.  Kit and Shawn are sending Meg and I, and Meg and I ONLY to Santa Monica CA for four days and three nights.  We will sleep, eat, drink coffee, talk, swim, walk, drink more coffee, talk...you get it.  We will do all of this uninterrupted with no kids, no food to cut up, not butts to wipe.  Just me, just Meg, just CA.  HOLY S#$T.  And if that was not enough. We leave three days after my birthday ;). 

So that is it.  You either cried, puked, or both. ;)  Either way I am BLOWN away.  How blessed she and I are to have husbands that not only can afford to do this but that love us enough to make it happen.  I had to share.  Most of you hear all of the time about me.  About what I am doing and how much is going on here.  And you are all so wonderful and encouraging and say such amazing things to me or about me.  But without Doc I would be lost.  He has made all of my dreams come true and carried me through my nightmares.  And this year, well this year he has given me the best Christmas present ever.  Time with Meg.  And the fact that it will be spent somewhere warm with water, well that's just showing off if you ask me.  ;) 

I pray you too get exactly what you wish for this year!!
I love you Doc. 
Meg, I'll see you in February!!!!!