Friday, March 1, 2013

Welcome Home Josie Hope


I had intended to spend the last four months writing you letter after letter.  I wanted to share with you what each day, each week was like as we fought the fight of our lives.  But honestly my sweet baby girl that time was spent fighting.  There is no way to tell you what we have been through since November 8, 2012.  There is no way to explain to you what the Lord did in our home, our hearts, our lives during your first 15 weeks of life.  I wish that I could explain to you the impact that you have had on hundreds of lives that we have never met.  The way that you encouraged people, the way that you brought people to their knees, the way that Jesus shone through your tiny body every moment since you were born, the way that your fight  for life pushed others on days that they were weak is absolutely incredible. 

We did it Josie Hope.  You are home. As I type this you are lying in your bed next to me sleeping and if it were not for the nasal cannula that you still need to help you along, you would never know you have been  through.  You are perfect.  You are healthy and strong and beautiful.  You are the picture of a true miracle.  We watched, along with over a thousand people all of the world as Jesus formed you outside of my womb.  You, my sweet baby girl, are beautifully and wonderfully made and we got to witness as Jesus finished.  Our hearts, our faith, our lives will never be the same.

When there is time l will tell you about every gift, every card, every prayer that was made on your behalf. I will explain to you how you got Christmas cards from families we have never met.  I will tell you about this beautiful woman in Indiana that we have never spoken with who prayed for you daily and never missed an update.  I will tell you all about Will and Darby Kate, two children that have touched our home in their love for you like we could never have imagined.  One day I will share with you how a beautiful group of women took the most difficult time of my life and kept me from being homesick by making Franklin TN my home as they care for us daily.   I will share with you about a friend that loved us so much she came and cleaned our home because we were too busy fighting for you and caring for your sisters to do it.

When you can  understand it, I will sit and talk for hours about Ms. Vida and Ms. Laura.  I will tell you how they cared for you at your weakest.  How they loved you like you were theirs.  I will explain to you how hard they fought to keep you alive until you were about to do it yourself.  One day you will understand how they were sent straight from heaven to our family. 

One day I will  tell you about your grandparents, your cousins, your aunts and uncles, how they all came the day that you were born.  How each of them lost sleep and cried until there were no tears left on the days that you were weakest.  I will explain to you how much each of them love you  and how any of them would have traded places with you in a heart beat . If I were to count the hours they spent on their knees on your behalf it would blow you away.  I will tell you about Jo, "Grandma Jo", how she came and prayed over you on the days that were scary no matter how hard it was for her.  How she loves you like you are one of hers.  How at times she was able to give your mama a break knowing that someone else would be there to sit by your bed and plead with Jesus while I rested.  If I ever find the right words I will explain to you what your Aunt Sissy did for you, for us.  How she loved you so much that she gave her own blood so that you would have as much as you needed as your body fought to live. 

One day I will tell you about your Uncle Brett.  I will explain to you how he stopped his life to fight along side us for yours.  How he spent his nights up at that hospital watching you sleep, reading to you, begging Jesus for you to live.  How he has loved your sisters like they were his.  How he quietly stayed strong for your daddy and I on the days that we were too exhausted to stand.

And then there is your daddy.  And my sweet girl, there are no words for how much he loves you.  In all the time that I have known your daddy I have never seen him pray so much, cry so hard, work so hard for anything or anyone.  For four months he has read, researched, fought, prayed, begged, praised.  He loves you bigger than the whole sky and I would have crumbled without him.  You have changed his heart Josie and if I were you I would take him up on that pony that he promised you.  ;)

Oh my sweet, beautiful, blue eyed, dimpled miracle you have blown us away.  Jesus has given us the greatest miracle we will ever see.  We will forever praise Him from the rooftops for your life!  We are in awe of your strength, of your fight, of you.  We have a road ahead of us to get you to 100% but just as daddy predicted you are already blowing us away.  Keep fighting baby girl, mama will be right here fighting with you. 

A sweet friend of mama's put together a video of your journey that I have included in this letter to share with everyone who reads.  One day Ms. Tasha is going to do a book for us, mama just needs to get her the pictures. 

Psalm 139:13-14

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
love, Mama