September 12, 2012: Where is God?

Last night Doc and I were up much later than usual.  The day had come and gone and though it was filled with facebook images of 9/11 and bits and pieces on the news, that was not enough for us.  So we were up at almost midnight watching documentary after documentary of that tragic day.  Blown away by images and stories like it was happening right in front of our eyes, again.

I think of how eleven years have gone by and how then my life was so very different.  I remember wondering, not completely understanding the impact that those planes full of people hitting those giant buildings would have on our Nation and on our lives.  Still today I am sure I do not fully grasp how that day changed America.  I pray that I will be educated enough to explain it to these four blue eyes that expect me to know everything when the time comes. 

When the buildings fell, when the footage of people falling from the sky was shown, when the second plane hit Tower II, I could see how you could wonder.  Where is God?  How is this happening?  Is He watching?  But as I watched story after story, blown away by the miracles that occurred that day and the heroics that seemed to come out of every corner I clearly saw the presence of our Lord and I understood.

You see my friends we are a Nation built on the belief and under the authority of the One and Only God.  Our currency, our Pledge of Allegiance, our Constitution, the entire foundation of our country is built on His name.  A great name that used to be honored in our offices, our schools, our homes, our ballgames, our political offices, our radios, our concerts, our everywhere.  A name that has protected us for centuries, that has built us into the greatest Nation in the world, yet today we cannot find it anywhere.  And still we wonder.  So as I watched last night, again, I understood.  I understood why God was seen within the smoke and ashes of a falling building.  I understood why His presence was made clear in the dark stairways and dimly lit corners of those towers. It was obvious to me why the Lord worked miracles under the rubbish and gave mercy to those in the dark rather than reaching down with His great hand and steering those planes in another direction.  Isn't it obvious to you? 

Where is God my friends? Where have we put Him?  He is not in our schools, on our radios, at our ballgames.  He is not spoken of boldly in our public offices. He is no longer acknowledged publicly at our ballgames.  And for many of us, He is hard to find in our homes.  So it makes sense to me that on one of the worst days in American history, He was found right where Americans had put him: in the dark, in the shadows, in the closets and the stairways, buried within our offices, under stacks of papers or books, under the rubbish if you will.  What else did we expect? 

So then I take a look at what happened after 9/11/01.  Did we call for Him? Yes we did.  Did we pray? By the masses.  Did we beg for protection and mercy from the only One that we knew could really give it?  Absolutely.  Did we acknowledge Him publicly, we did, time and time again...for those first few months.  And then we listened as the country, our leaders, talked about rebuilding America.  We sat and watched as they spoke in vain about how we would be a stronger Nation and cheered.  Again with little or no mention of the One that we should have been calling too.  And so I wonder did we learn nothing from this tragedy that took over 2700 lives?  Are really so arrogant as a people to think that we are strong enough to stand on our own with that the protection of the God that made us?  I would say shamefully, as a country, we are. 

I tend to steer away from politics for two reasons, one I am not near educated enough in them to carry on a strong defense for my vote and two my husband is passionate enough for the both of us.  So who you vote for and what you believe about topics such as abortion, health care and gay marriage are not of interest to me.  What is of interest to me is that we are a country crumbling under the leadership of godless leaders and I am pregnant.  We are bringing kids into a society that is filled with godless TV, books, music, politics, and media.  My friends the Lord allowed Israel, His chosen people to fall because they turned away from Him.  Read as in their arrogance they believed they could rebuild without Him. 

The Lord’s Anger Against Israel

⁸ The Lord has sent a message against Jacob;
it will fall on Israel.
⁹ All the people will know it—
Ephraim and the inhabitants of Samaria—
who say with pride
and arrogance of heart,
¹⁰ “The bricks have fallen down,
but we will rebuild with dressed stone;
the fig trees have been felled,
but we will replace them with cedars.”
¹¹ But the Lord has strengthened Rezin’s foes against them
and has spurred their enemies on.
¹² Arameans from the east and Philistines from the west
have devoured Israel with open mouth.

Yet for all this, his anger is not turned away,
his hand is still upraised.

 

The Lord spurred their enemies on!  He strengthened their foes against them.  Why? Because they no longer thought they needed Him.  They had put Him in the closest, left Him in the darkness, removed Him from their homes, piled Him under the rubbish.  And for that He let them be defeated and destroyed, devoured by their enemies.  This my friends is what we should take away from 9/11.  This is what should bring the fear of God back into us.  He will let us fall.  He will teach us a lesson.  He will let us be defeated if as a country and a people we continue down this path without Him.  Will He leave us? No. Read to the end.  "Yet for all this, His anger is not turned away, His hand is still upraised." He will never leave, but He is willing to let us be destroyed just as He did Israel, if we do not turn back to Him.  I do not mean lose 2700 innocent people, I mean destroyed.  Understanding this is more important than voting in November.  Understanding this is more important  than your thoughts on Chick Fil A or abortion.  Understanding this will change the future of our country, our families, our children, and their children. 

So today I pray for my family, my friends, my country, the hearts of it's leaders, the people.  I pray that they realize who is really leading America.  I pray that they open their hearts, dust off their bibles, and fight for their God to be present in all of the places that we need Him, everywhere.  And I ask that you my friends, will pray with me.

Praying for a falling Nation and thankful for a merciful Saviour,
Melanie

From a coat to a sweater.

I am constantly reminded that the Lord knows exactly what He is doing. That every person we meet, place we go, experience we have was written.  That is hard to swallow on days like today.  Days that are made blurry by memories of sadness.  Days that I am reminded that at any moment my world could change, again.  If it is written and  I have chapters of sadness that means I have to accept that my loving, merciful, healing, Heavenly Father wrote those chapters.  And He did and I know it and it makes it easier...no, no it doesn't.

Today I sat with a friend, a friend that I barely know, but whose heart I can see. You see she knows my sadness and hers is more recent than mine.  I can actually see the weight that sits on her chest when she talks about babies and pregnancy.  I can feel how heavy it is and it reminds me of mine and in moments of talking with her I find it hard to breathe again, still.  And so I rub my belly and I remember that He chooses not me.  And I realize that He put her in my living room for me, and for her, and I am grateful. 

There is a process that we go through as mamas of babies that lived only inside the womb.  A process that requires more anger and crying and begging and praying that anyone who has not been there can fathom.  A process where we realize that this person, this small, perfect, precious, person lived only within us.  That the loss, though great for those around us and close to us, in unexplainable to anyone because the baby that lived with us, never lived with anyone else.  It's like having a friend that no one else knows but you and then having them die.  Everyone is sad for you that loves you, but no one else experiences the loss.  The process is long and it is filled with guilt, and frustration, and questions.  It is "what ifs" to the point of insanity and "if onlys" that haunt you.  And then one day you wake up and you can breathe again.  You can drive your car alone and not cry.  You can see a new baby and not envy.  You can hear of a pregnancy and not cuss.  The weight is lighter and the heavy coat of sadness becomes more like a sweater.  Things look beautiful again and the life you missed grieving has gone on without and you realize it is time to catch up.  I am in a sweater catching up, my friend, she is in a winter coat and it is 90 degrees outside.  This makes me sad, it actually makes me cry.  Not for me but for her because I know how she feels when she lays down at night.  I do not miss that feeling. 

So tonight I will pray not for myself, but for my friend.  I will plead with Him to lighten her weight just a little tomorrow.  I will remember how she feels and be blessed by the fact that I am able to actually tell her I understand and mean it.  Tonight I will be grateful that I have met someone in a coat that needs a friend in a sweater. 

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

Praying for a mama that wants another baby,
Melanie