Well here we are friends, at the end of yet another year. A year that may or may not have been one of your best. That may or may not have been memorable. But fear not! If there are highlights that you have forgotten, moments that you would like to relish in one final time, there is always Facebook to remind you. Not only will it remind you, it will actually give you a play by play depending on how often you were willing to post the "status" of your day, week, life. So let's all wish a Happy New Year to Social Media!!
Oh social media, how we can always depend on you to encourage us and raise our self esteem by reminding us how we once again missed the bar that was set so high by all 456 of our friends. Thank you. Thank you for the reality that my life, my financial status, my marriage, my children, my cooking skills, my fitness level, my faith, my weight, my parenting, my craftiness, even my pets cannot measure up those of everyone that I went to grade school with.
How can I possibly set New Years resolutions knowing that you will be there, on January 8th, to remind me that I failed and that Cindy is still diligently reading her bible, Laurie is still going to the gym at 5:45 AM and Jane and her husband have saved $250 already? Oh how I cannot wait for lent so that I can give you up for 40 days (with exception of at night when everyone is asleep of course) and not have to see how successful Melissa's husband is or how Hannah's comes home at 5PM everyday and washes the dishes while simultaneously feeding the baby so that she can go for a long walk with her favorite Starbucks. I mean don't get me wrong, sure I am happy that Joe Jr. is top of his class at Harvard and Billy (who is 8) already has scouts eyeing him for the Braves. And of course I celebrate with little Sophie's parents as she reads her sight words at 16 months. And Katie, that 65 lbs that she has lost, AMAZING!! Even more amazing that she did it with no exercise while eating ice cream!! When will she post that after picture anyway?
Truthfully Facebook/Twitter it would behoove me and my family if for 2014 you would just shut down. That way I don't feel obligated to post a status. I mean seriously how can I compete?! There is no possible way. My oldest will be six on the 19th of January and she can barely read in sentences. My second, while beautiful and frighteningly smart in many ways, she doesn't know what a door knob is. Both CAN sing most of the Taylor Swift album so there is that. I have a 14 month old baby that runs my home and I didn't shower at all yesterday. What kind of post can I get out of any of this!??
Furthermore, my house is a wreck. I am at least 5 loads of laundry behind. I have two sinks full of dishes. Two nights ago my kids got eggs and toast for dinner and my husband, he got nothing. We don't all sit together to eat every night and we usually forget to pray before we eat. PLEASE don't tell anyone else that!! We have a gym membership that we don't use. We fight, we argue, we cry, we cuss and if we were capable of handling it, we would drink. We don't always like our family and they certainly don't always like us. My hair hasn't been it's natural color in years and Doc, well he doesn't have any. Not only does he not get home by 5 he usually doesn't make it until after six and once again, I usually haven't showered when he gets here. This is it. This is life. This is real. Like it or not Facebook the best status I have so far today is "Josie pooped and when I changed it I got it all over myself and her feet". BOOM top that. But don't worry, tonight I am making Red Snapper and I will be posting a pic of the one serving I put on a real plate for everyone to see!!!!
Happy New Year Social Media!