A Long Hot Bath

Well here we are at the beginning of another week.  It was a bitter sweet weekend here in Franklin TN. Bitter because Doc was away, sweet because my sister and her three wonderful kids came to see us.  Ahh...home at home...there is nothing like it. We have been in TN for almost a year and Steph has been to visit twice.  Every time she leaves I think about all of the ways to convince her to move  here so that we can all be together, but in my heart I know she is never moving that far away from mom.  Steph is a mama's girl through and  through, and now that I have a mama's girl (Presley) I know how much my mama must LOVE that she still has one at 36. 

We had a great time, we ate ice cream and played at the park, Scooter was in heaven.  When they left yesterday she was devastate, she begged to go, she cried and pleaded and would not even kiss them goodbye (hoping that they would have to stay if she didn't).  All in all, she was pitiful.  I felt so bad for her that I was in tears too.  I don't really know how you explain to a two year old why she only sees her favorite people once a month or once every two.  Honestly, I don't know how you explain a lot of things to a two year old.  Yesterday I mended her wounds with cookies (gluten, dairy and egg free of course) and Cinderella.  Isn't it wonderful how little it takes to take away the hurt in a small child? A kiss, a cookie, a movie, or maybe even a new toy if its a BIG hurt.  Regardless, for anywhere from 0 to 5 dollars you can basically make everything okay in the world of a child. 

If only it were that simple in our world.  Can you imagine? Lose your job; eat a cookie, wreck your car; get a kiss, lose a loved one; buy new movie.  Boy wouldn't it be great if that was all it took?  I was trying to figure out why it isn't that easy for us?   Is it that our wounds are bigger than theirs? That our wounds are more important? Or maybe just that we understand the significance of a wound more than they do.  The more I thought about it yesterday, as I sat beside my sweet girl and played with her curls while she ate her cookies and watched her movie, the more I realized that it could be that easy for me, for all of us. Our hurts and pains could be taken away with a gift just like our children's are if we let them.  You see, children have a wonderful way of letting go of the past and focusing on the future.  They see what they have to gain rather than what they have lost.  Imagine if as parents, we always let them do this.  Imagine what their lives could be like. 

Take a moment and think about what your life would be like if during your biggest disappointment someone would have given you a gift and made you see that there is something more to life than just that moment, that pain.  Oh my, how silly I have been.  How silly any and all of us have been.  Here we are in the world full of money and possessions where the "good movies" include sex and violence.  A world where the bad guy wins more than the good guy and a whole family is a novelty rather than a norm.  We are surrounded by and distracted by greed, obsession and gluttony wondering why when something goes wrong that is all we can see.  And yet we have been given a gift beyond all comprehension.  We have actually been given a gift large than anything we can buy or steal or win.  Our Lord has given us the gift of eternal life, and not here on earth with the struggles and frustrations, but in heaven.  We are told in Revelations:

"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." (Revelation 21:4)

No pain, no death, no sorrow, no crying and to top it off, all of the bad is wiped away.  The past is gone, the memories, the hurt, the ugly, all of it, GONE.  Boy the girl scouts could sell the heck out of a cookie like that huh!? ;) 

This is it friends.  This is your kiss, your cookie, your movie, your 5 dollar toy.  And truthfully, it should mend any wound regardless of the size.  I have a hole in my heart the size of a softball that has been there for months.  I function, I play with my kids, I am a decent wife, friend, sibling, daughter, but that hole affects me everyday.  It is by far the largest, deepest and most painful wound I have ever had and honestly I am not the person I was before it was there.  Shame on me.  Shame on me for not seeing the gift before me and letting it take away my hurt.  Shame on me for not showing my girls that there is Someone/something that takes away all of our hurt and all of our pain and believing that with all of my heart.  Shame on me for not rejoicing in my future with all of my loved ones in heaven, my grandparents, my father in law, my Mamaw, my Bennett and rejoicing for them that they are there!  Shame on me for missing one moment here on earth with the ones that are still with me because all I can focus on is the hurt that I have been handed at this point in my life. And shame on you if you are doing the same.

What kind of example is that for my girls?  What kind of parent am I if I don't teach them, by example, about faith especially at the most crucial times in my life?!  I want this for them so badly.  I want them to take life and live it fully with no fears.  I know that they will be knocked down time and time again.  I know their hearts and spirits will be broken more than once.  I know that I cannot protect them from all of the evil in this world that we live in.  So if I want them to be fearless, but I cannot guarantee their safety or their happiness then how do I teach them not to be afraid?!  My only answer is faith.  I have to teach them to fear nothing but the Lord.  I have to teach them to have faith that whatever life hands them He is there walking with them through it.  I have to teach them to turn to Him and lean on Him and know that this is only the beginning of what He has in store for them.  They must understand that this short 100 years or so is just a grain of sand on the miles and miles of beach that He has waiting for them in heaven.  Just imagine what their lives will be like if they really get that! They will be able to mourn and move forward.  They will be able to hurt with confidence that it will not last, knowing that it will not break them.  Their hearts and their spirits will be mended with the gift that only One can give them. 

Oh friends, this is my heart, my goal, my life.  This is so badly what I want to do as a parent.  But I know that I cannot do this with words.  I realize that this means I too have to fear only the Lord, I too have to understand that He is with me and let Him kiss away my wounds and mend them with His gift.  What a wonderful life I will have lived if I succeed at this and only this.  This is my prayer for all of us.  Happy Sunday my friends.  Enjoy the gift the Lord has given you.  Soak in it like a long hot bath and let the rest wash away. 

What can wash away my sin?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Oh! precious is the flow
That makes me white as snow;
No other fount I know,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

For my pardon, this I see,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
For my cleansing this my plea,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Nothing can for sin atone,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
Naught of good that I have done,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

This is all my hope and peace,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
This is all my righteousness,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Now by this I’ll overcome—
Nothing but the blood of Jesus,
Now by this I’ll reach my home—
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Glory! Glory! This I sing—
Nothing but the blood of Jesus,
All my praise for this I bring—
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.


Love,
Melanie