It never ceases to amaze me the way the Lord has written our trials and our miracles. Always perfectly timed to go along with His plan whether we see that or not. It is usually afterwards that we realize that He was in fact in control and did in fact use whatever challenge, trial, tragedy He put in our path for the good of His kingdom. And so I type and I sit in the hospital bed away from home, away from Doc, away from my girls, yet closer to the only One that can comfort me.
In my life, or that part of my life that starts with Doc and continues with him and his children, our toughest most trying times have revolved around pregnancy. It started with my beautiful Kat who gave us quite a scare right from the beginning and it continues with pregnancy number 5, another perfect baby girl giving us the ride of our lives. We have been blessed beyond measure by our Lord in terms of health, business, finances, family. Yet since mid 2007 to today He has tested us, humbled us, broken us when it comes to our babies. Tough to understand when you know us and the passion that we have for our children and how badly we want them. But then it makes perfect sense. As I understand that the Lord knows just where to take us to cry out to Him. And so He has taken us there again.
It would be so easy for me to be frustrated, sad, angry. To sit with my head down questioning why I am here, trying to understand how we can once again be begging for the life of one of our babies that we have yet to meet. But I cannot. You see yesterday I spent three hours with two of the most beautiful creatures I have ever seen. And I looked at them with their giant blue eyes and perfectly distributed dimples and all I could do was praise Him. Praise Him as I watched their daddy unload more clothes and food anticipating that my stay would be longer than we would like. Praise Him as their baby sister moved around in my belly listening to them fight over grapes. Praise Him as the noise and movement of these amazing people He gifted me with distracted me from the reality of the unknown. All the while realizing what a true miracle those beautiful little girls are. How He, in all of His perfectness, created them and and chose me to be their mama. And I breathed easy for just a moment, filled with a peace that truly surpasses all understanding.
You see my friends a week ago we were given news that is so hard to grasp that writing it down is worthless. And that morning as my sister drove for 6 hours trying to get to me, my mama came once again to our rescue and my husband made phone calls that we never thought we would have to make again, I sent out about 5 text messages all saying the same thing "We are in trouble, we need a miracle, please pray". And so they did, and so He answered and twelve hours later our news changed so dramatically that denying that the Lord answers prayer and performs miracles would be ludicrous. So here we are, still waiting to see what is next, but blown away by the answered prayers and the miracles that He is performing for us everyday.
Please continue to pray for us all. Please continue to pray for our third girl that we want more than you can even imagine. But most of all please continue to pray that we will rest in Him daily knowing that He is in control and that His will shall be done.
Love and Blessings,