I am sitting here with a cup of decaf, an empty plate that once held the last slice of chocolate cake from Scooter's party yesterday, a house that is strewn with toys and puzzles, two sleeping children, and a heart that is heavy with the burdens of others and prayer. There are so many families that suffer loss, struggle with sick children, beg God for a miracle. I am not sure if I am just ultra sensitive to these families now or if God places them in my life because my heart is so open for them after our losses. Actually, I am positive it is the latter.
I have a friend that is pregnant. She lost her last baby a few years ago and never imagined she would be here again. A miracle. She has not had an event free pregnancy so far, but she is hanging in there. I pray for her constantly, asking God to give her any miracle that was to be mine today. Does that sound crazy to you? I don't know maybe it is crazy. Maybe I should be saving mine up just in case I need them one day soon. But you see this is what I know, I know that if I needed a miracle, this same friend would give me hers without a thought.
There is another family that I have asked God to give my miracles too over the last few months and that is the Hudson family. You guys have read about sweet Harrison in my earlier blogs. I am so touched by this family and this little boy, partly because his father was a good friend of mine what seems like a lifetime ago. But mostly I think because I know that if our boy had a lived a few more weeks, we may be in the same boat they are in.
I think about them a lot. I struggle between relief and jealously to tell you the truth. If Bennett had lived and not been "normal" by today's definition would we have made it? If he had been a special needs kid, it would have rocked our world and the world of our girls. It would have changed our lives entirely just as Harrison has changed the lives of his family. I imagine the struggles financially, emotionally, and a thousand other ways. I do at time breathe a sigh of relief that my girls are not going through that and my husband does not have that pressure. However, then I remember Bennett. Sweet, perfect, little Bennett laying there in that little box and I think, I would trade with them in a heartbeat. Bring on the sleepless nights, the financial hardship, the medical train wreck, bring it all. It makes me smile to know that this family, the Hudsons, that is exactly their attitude. They will take it all and move forward and pray for a miracle everyday and they do just that. That my friends is why it is so easy for me to ask Him to send my miracles to Harrison today and tomorrow and next week.
I think about miracles and how many I have been blessed to see and be a part of. I remember my sweet boy and then I look at my niece Savannah who was never expected and a miracle to our family and I smile at the thought of my sister. I smile because I know it tickles her heart with every breath Savannah takes. Today I am sharing my miracles with a few people that have touched my life and if you are in need of one, you are welcome to one of mine sweet friend, just let me know. ;)
Pray for sweet Harrison and if it is on your heart to give, I hope that you will.
Love and Blessings!