Think about it for a moment today in between wiping butts and noses and trying to pull yourself together to go to the grocery store. Or if you are at work, between mindless projects that drag you through the day that you are begging to end. If we are all telling the truth you and I both know that our vision for ourselves was a little different than where we ended up. Not better just different. Okay look I will share mine with you and you can continue to lie to yourself or join in the fun whatever works.
So I am 35 years old and next month I will be 36. When I was 18 here is how I imagined myself at 36. Blonde (I love being a blonde), 120 lbs (which I have not been SINCE I was 18), driving a convertible BMW M5 (or whatever the best one is which of course I do not know because that dream died 15 pounds ago). I was going to be a sucessful pediatrician owning my own practice. Now this one is extra hilarious because not only am I married to a chiropractor, but we don't take our kids to the pediatrician. Ever. I was going to be married to a tall, dark, and handsome man and though I did not get dark I did get relatively tall and very handsome (so this one turned out ok ;)). We were going to live in Virginia Highlands, which is a very trendy spot in the ATL. Middle TN is not even close. I was going to have 4 kids, at least two of them being boys and by the time I was 36 I was going to be DONE having them and already have my boobs put back in the correct spot. I have failed miserably in this catagory. I am not even close to done and the spot my boobs are supposed to be in, well I am not even sure it's still there. We were going to be wealthy, live in a beautifully redone old house and own a place in Florida (look I was 18 people bare with me). So yeah, we live in a 25 year old rental house beside the highway that has rotting extrerior doors and a porch that is going to fall off from the termites. Oh and that house in Fla, it's there, it's just not in my name or anyone's name that I know for that matter. This and you can add in tons of traveling all over the world and that about sums it up for my dreams at 18. I do have a passport and it has been stamped 3 times so I have not failed completely right!?
My point is that the grass always looks greener, prettier, easier, younger, happier, more fun. But the TRUTH is that none of this matters. The truth is that I have a beautiful little girl that will be three tomorrow. I have a 20 month old that makes me laugh more anyone on the planet. I have a husband that hands down has the best set of dimples I have ever seen. The truth is that my parents are both still alive and my brother and sister are my very best friends. The truth is that all of my dreams at 18 were nothing but that, dreams. And the reality that lies before me is so much better than those dreams. Okay, I will admit the boob job thing sounds pretty good, and the beach house, okay and yes I would like to live somewhere without rotting doors and termites but you get my point.
Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." Matthew 19:21
xoxoxo,
Melanie
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