I am 12 days late writing this. But honestly, I am more than 12 days late for a lot of things. On January 19th we celebrated your 5th birthday. And in all of the craziness that is our lives right now, I think that I managed to make it special for you. Some of your favorite people were there and I made you the exact cup cakes you wanted. Your daddy took you and bought you a new birthday outfit with a perfect pink sparkly purse to go along with it. 
My sweet girl, I fear I have let you down a lot over the last few months. I pray every night that the Lord will make up for where I am failing as I do my very best to be your mama in the middle of the hardest days of our lives. All the time reassuring you that I will in fact bring home your baby sister and one day I will be your mama, all day, every day, again. And you, in your own Kathryne way are so forgiving and so understanding. And I am again blown away by the gift that you are to us.
At five you are more than I ever dreamed you would be. You are smart but you still have fun. You are emotional but hilarious. You are sweet but tough. You are more kind than most your age and thoughtful unlike any other child I know. You are beautiful and that is an understatement. You love music and art and games and dance. You are your daddy all day long with just a smidgen of your mama. Just enough to make you mean enough to get through your teens and tough enough to get through your twenties. You are right, most of the time and you know it. You have a sense of style that makes us grin and you are more bossy than we would like. I watch you and I see you thinking through everything happening in this house and it worries me. It makes me wonder if you will forgive us for the chaos we have put you through since we moved to Franklin TN. It makes me wonder if you will remember me as strong or as weak. It makes me pray harder.
You my sweet baby in pink are your daddy's. Period. You live and breathe that man and any extra minute he has for you. You sit on his lap and your profiles match perfectly. His heart beats because you breathe. And that my baby girl will make a tough match for a man that wants your heart one day. I tell you all of the time "marry a man like your daddy", I have no doubt that will be exactly what your heart desires. Happy Birthday Kathryne Elaine. Your daddy and I, now more than ever, realize what an absolute miracle you are. We ask, no we beg Jesus to watch over you, to keep you safe, to keep you healthy. We are trying our very best to be the mama and daddy he wants us to be and we know that when we fail He is perfect and unfailing and will be your guide.
We love you Doodle.
Mama and Daddy
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