This morning, I had a friend reach out saying she had just found my blog, and she had spent the evening reading it. My goodness when I go back and look I think "well I hope she grabbed some tissues and coffee because this sucker is a tough read in places". And so I pulled it up and sat down with my own coffee and thought, "what the heck, let's write something".
I am at a weird age. I am 50 with a 12 year old, my sister is going to be a grandma in February, and my friend's parents are starting to make their way to heaven one by one. I have been immensely blessed. I am under no delusion that my life has been hard. Have there been pockets of hard? Yes. But let's be honest here, nothing compared to some of you reading. Both of my parents are still alive, my siblings and I still communicate weekly, my sister is still one of my best friends, my nieces and nephews are healthy. I have lost Bennett, my grandparents and one Uncle (who was my person) in my entire lifetime. I get to stay at home and raise my kids. My husband is fiercely committed to me, to providing for us and to spoiling us in every way.
In my lifetime I have prayed for two miracles for myself, one was for Josie, and the other was for my daddy. And so as if I have a deal with Jesus, I do what I like to call "share my miracles". Let me give you an example. During COVID Meg's mom and dad ended up in the hospital at the same time. If you don't know who Meg is, you don't know me very well so real quick, she is one of my Canadians. Yes, I have 5 of my very own Canadians. That's for another time. Anyway, it was terrifying. Meg called me, I couldn't go of course because, well, COVID. So instead, I prayed. I prayed relentlessly for her mom and dad. I sent voice notes to her mom IN THE HOSPITAL praying over her and then I made a deal with the Lord. I went to Him and I asked Him if I could give Megan one of my miracles.
Ok so I get it, this is probably not how it works. But that is how I pray. I believe in miracles. I have seen a miracle. A real life, no one can argue with it miracle. She lives with me. So I know for a fact that the Lord is in the business of miracles, and every now and then, I ask him if I can share mine. I shared one with Meg. I have shared one with Sam. I have shared one with my friend, Melanie when her son was injured. I have one reserved for my friend Wendy. Don't get me wrong I don't just go around handing them out (wink wink). And there is nothing biblical about this whatsoever. But I have always been accused of having childlike faith and sometimes I pray like a child. "Jesus, my friend needs a miracle, and if she is all out, please give her one of mine". And if I am being honest, sometimes He answers. And I catch myself thinking (this is ridiculous so don't tell anyone) but I think "is this my last one? Am I asking the Lord for this one and when I need one for myself will I be all out?"
But I pray it anyway, "give her mine Lord". Because I know, oh how I know what it is like to need a miracle. And I know for a fact that there were people that gave me one of theirs for Josie. Jo Tallman, Sisse Pfeiffer, my parents, my mother-in-law, Brett, my sister. I know that every single one of them and so many of you went to the Lord, unselfishly on our behalf and said "give them one of mine, Lord and let that baby girl live" And He did. And I know what it does to the hearts of a family, of children, when they witness one.
3 years ago we moved to Lewisburg, TN on 30 acres. It's way out here in the middle of nowhere. We knew no one in Marshall County, but we were ready for change, and space and fresh air. And it was the right move for us. Jo has thrived out here, the girls love it, Doc has conceded to the drive and is made to have land and space to be away from people and chaos. It is my favorite home to date for many reasons. We've had a lot of homes, so this is saying something. The only thing that was missing were people to do life with. And about a year ago, we found those people. A family of five, living up the road, who we met at church. And now we have family in TN. We have people that we love, that show up, that make my kids happy, that support their dreams. I tease that I went from 3 kids to 6. But the truth is that I love those other three as much as you can love kids that you didn't birth yourself. God orchestrated this absolutely wonderful and insanely intentional situation that I never would have imagined. But here we are. And those people, that family, those kids that I love so much, they need a miracle.
I am 50. And I know that the time is coming where parents and aunts and uncles and friends start making their way to heaven sooner than I would like. The time is coming where my girls start to build families and have babies and make their own way in the world. And in my childlike mind, with my silly little deal that I have with Jesus I think "how many do I have left?" And honestly, maybe I am all out. But here is the truth, even if there's just one. Just one left in my "pile of miracles", I am asking the Lord to give it to my friends. Not because I am unselfish, but because I am completely selfish.
Deuteronomy 10:21 reminds us "He is the one you praise: He is your God, who performed for you those great and awesome wonders you saw with your own eyes" and in Jeremiah we read "I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?" I believe in miracles. Big, huge, hard, life changing miracles. I believe in the power of prayer. I have seen you all pray incessantly for my tiny girl and watched as God answered in HUGE ways. I am asking you to pray for my friend, Matt. He needs a miracle, a new heart, and to stay well why he waits. I am asking you to believe in that for him and my friend Mindy and those three kids that I love so much. As for me, I am sharing a miracle with my friends and believing that the Lord will answer.
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