It is Valentines Day. And though I have an AMAZING trip to Cali to write about, I do not have the pictures or slide show ready so I skipped to write about Valentines Day. In honor of what my husband thinks is the single most ridiculous "made up holiday" of the year, I decided I would take a moment to tell you what I think. Especially since what he thinks makes for a short and not so inspiring blog.
I am going to start by jumping on board with Doc. Yes, it is ridiculous. Yes, it is commercial. Yes, it is an excuse to spend money on something that will eventually get thrown away. Now that that is out of the way, let's get to the good stuff. To me Valentine's Day isn't about chocolate and teddy bears. Valentine's Day is about the men that have influenced me and loved me for the better part of my life. Men like my daddy. My brother. My Uncle G. My brother in law. My husband. These my friends are the most important, wonderfully inspiring men in my life. I'll start with my daddy.
My daddy has been married to my mama for over 40 years. And if I am being honest he really isn't very good at most holidays and usually needs a bit of help. That being said my daddy is the single most humble, kind, generous man I have ever met. And he loves my mama 100% all of the time through the good, through the bad and yes, through the ugly. And good gracious have we seen some ugly!! He is funny, he has a wit that cannot be matched and he loves with his whole being and I love him with mine. That's my dad. That's who I think of on Valentines Day.
My brother, Mike is 36 and single and lonely if I am being honest. And years ago we were both single together, but never lonely. He was my Valentine. He took me out, he spoiled me, he even brought me flowers a few times. He was and is one of my very best friends. He loves with his whole heart, which he wears on his sleeve. And one day, he is going to make a killer husband because he had my daddy as an example and three women raised him. ;) I wish I was there today to make him feel as special as he is to me! That's my brother. That's who I think of on Valentines Day.
Unless you have followed my blog for sometime, you probably do not know who my Uncle G is. So real quick, he is married to my daddy's sister and he has had a hand in raising me, two hands if you count my twenties. I don't think he realizes what an impact he has had. But he is the example of the husband that you all dream about single ladies. My Aunt Patty, she is the most spoiled woman I have ever met. My Uncle G is selfless. He is kind and gentle and if you are lucky enough to be someone that he loves, he spoils you every chance he gets. Be very jealous of Aunt Patty. My Uncle G helped shape who I wanted to find as a husband for myself one day and honestly I found one not so far from the example he set. My Uncle G. That's who I think of on Valentine's Day.
My brother in law. Well I have two so let's start with the one I have had the longest. Robby and my sister have been married since we were kids. Seriously, 18 years this year. Now in all fairness Robby, like dad, not so good at holidays. BUT thankfully he married a woman who doesn't care. What Robby is, is much more than what he isn't. He works hard, he loves his family, he loves Jesus and he is as loyal and faithful a husband as you will find. He loves my sister unconditionally and I have no doubt they will be married for their whole lives. Not many people do that anymore do they? Robby. That's who I think of on Valentine's Day.
Onto brother in law number two. Brett. Brett is a Hall. So he remembers holidays and he is good at them. It is just in these boys. But that is not why Brett is on my list. Brett loves me and my girls like we are his. He is caring and nurturing and has a giant heart. One day, he will make a an amazing husband and father. But my girls and I will always consider a piece of him ours. He loves us full blast, all of the time, with every ounce of his heart. Brett. That's who I think of on Valentine's Day.
And then there is Doc. Who, by the grace of God, picked me to marry rather quickly which I am sure gave me an advantage. ;) I write about Doc quite a bit so most of you already know that he spoils me rotten. Yes I went to Cali, yes he met me at the airport with yet another bouquet of tulips, yes he bought all of my clothes for my trip without me present. I know, it is gross. But that is not all you should know about Doc. Doc is kind. He has conversations with people in a way that makes them feel special. He has a way of making people feel better and if you have ever had one of his hugs, you know what I mean. He is gentle. He cares about people, which makes him a great doctor that is always working even when he is not there. Doc is funny. He has wit, he makes me laugh. He sees the world in a very realistic way. He thinks he is owed nothing. He has zero sense of entitlement and almost always expects to work harder than he has too. He is 100% committed to the four of us. He will not stop until we have what we need and what we want and what he thinks we deserve, which is everything. He is a good mix of the men I mentioned above. Humble, kind, faithful, loving, nurturing and selfless. I am beyond blessed that he is mine. And though we put little emphasis on this "made up" holiday, he will always be my Valentine. Doc. That is who I think, dream and breathe on Valentine's Day and everyday.
So even though this holiday is mostly about loving on the ladies, it always reminds me of the men I love most in the whole world. I am blessed to have each of them and pray that they know it.
Happy Valentines Day Big, Mike, G, Robo, Brett and Doc. I love you all bigger than the sky!!!
Mel
I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. Phil 4:13
Friday, February 14, 2014
Happy Birthday to Me!!
Yesterday I turned 39. And though I thought that it would be a tough day for me, it was completely normal. I barely even thought about my age as I hurried through the day cleaning house, wiping butts, and playing dance party. I was prepared to go into a deep dark state of depression, anticipating the year ahead. Knowing that in 364 short days I would be 40. Ugh 40. It sounds horrible today, right now. It sounds middle aged. Only a number, yes, but a milestone as well. One that I have dreaded for years. But today, and yesterday and maybe even tomorrow, the dread is gone.
I don't know if it is the fact that I actually survived my thirties despite the health problems, the stress, the loneliness, the heart ache, the grief. Or if it is the fact that I SURVIVED my thirties!! More of a celebration if you will. Either way, I survived and I am blessed and I don't give two shits about the fact that next year I will be forty. It no longer matters to me. Maybe it will on February 2, 2015. But I doubt it.
You see my thirties have been the best, longest, toughest, most agonizing years of my life. We as a family have survived some of the most difficult things that families go through. Distance, business, death, loss, sickness, you name it and Doc and I have done it over the last eight years. The miracles that we have witnessed would blow your mind, probably the greatest one being that our marriage survived. Second to the Tiny One of course. And so 39, though it sounds old to those that are 30 or 25 or maybe even 38, is only a testimony to the mercy and love of God in my family. I survived. My heart survived. My body did not fail though it came close a few times. My family did not give up on me, though my time and energy seemed always to be focused elsewhere. My friends, the ones that really loved me, they are still present though I have spent little time maintaining those relationships. My kids were not lost in the chaos though they may have felt like they were at times. My marriage did not end, though many would have walked away, to somewhere, anywhere but the house that seemed so full of loss and sadness and sickness and stress. Miracles. Mercy. Grace. Those are what I celebrate on a day that marks yet another year of my life gone by.
I have learned a lot in my thirties. Some things that I already knew and were reinforced. Some that were lessons that came with the chaos. Here are a few. I learned that you can survive death, even in the form of a child. I learned that you can will your body to do anything if you ask Jesus to help, even keep a baby alive for just a few more minutes. I learned that if you love someone with your whole heart they will be right there when you wake up from the worst nightmare you have ever had. I learned that forming relationships early in life and maintaining those during your "busy" years will be a huge blessing during the hard years. I have learned that scary to you, is scary to your mom and dad no matter how old you are. I have learned that some friendships are worth letting go so that you have the energy to hold onto the ones that count. I have learned that people who have never met you can love you. I have learned that faith is the foundation of ALL relationships and without it you will eventually fail. I have learned that Jesus is the One and Only Healer and that the power of prayer will save a life. I have learned that marrying the right person will be the single most important decision of your life other than the one to follow Jesus.
In two days I leave for a trip to California where I will meet one of my very favorites for four days. Many have said that I have earned such a break. I disagree. I believe that though I will enjoy every second of my time, my place and my heart are here with my girls and my husband who could use the same four days he has gifted me. And though my body will relish in the rest, I have not earned it by being a faithful wife or a mother that loves her kids more than herself. That is what is expected of me by my Maker, by the One that loved me enough to give my these babies and that man that provides for us. All that to say that I cannot freaking WAIT to see Meg and enjoy myself.
39 will be another year of my life spend doing exactly that is expected of me with all that He gives me. I will enjoy it. I will rest when He allows it and work when He expects it. My wishes? To rest more than I work. To see my family more. To make some memories with these girls and to look forward to the rest of my life.
Happy Birthday to me!!
Melanie
I don't know if it is the fact that I actually survived my thirties despite the health problems, the stress, the loneliness, the heart ache, the grief. Or if it is the fact that I SURVIVED my thirties!! More of a celebration if you will. Either way, I survived and I am blessed and I don't give two shits about the fact that next year I will be forty. It no longer matters to me. Maybe it will on February 2, 2015. But I doubt it.
You see my thirties have been the best, longest, toughest, most agonizing years of my life. We as a family have survived some of the most difficult things that families go through. Distance, business, death, loss, sickness, you name it and Doc and I have done it over the last eight years. The miracles that we have witnessed would blow your mind, probably the greatest one being that our marriage survived. Second to the Tiny One of course. And so 39, though it sounds old to those that are 30 or 25 or maybe even 38, is only a testimony to the mercy and love of God in my family. I survived. My heart survived. My body did not fail though it came close a few times. My family did not give up on me, though my time and energy seemed always to be focused elsewhere. My friends, the ones that really loved me, they are still present though I have spent little time maintaining those relationships. My kids were not lost in the chaos though they may have felt like they were at times. My marriage did not end, though many would have walked away, to somewhere, anywhere but the house that seemed so full of loss and sadness and sickness and stress. Miracles. Mercy. Grace. Those are what I celebrate on a day that marks yet another year of my life gone by.
I have learned a lot in my thirties. Some things that I already knew and were reinforced. Some that were lessons that came with the chaos. Here are a few. I learned that you can survive death, even in the form of a child. I learned that you can will your body to do anything if you ask Jesus to help, even keep a baby alive for just a few more minutes. I learned that if you love someone with your whole heart they will be right there when you wake up from the worst nightmare you have ever had. I learned that forming relationships early in life and maintaining those during your "busy" years will be a huge blessing during the hard years. I have learned that scary to you, is scary to your mom and dad no matter how old you are. I have learned that some friendships are worth letting go so that you have the energy to hold onto the ones that count. I have learned that people who have never met you can love you. I have learned that faith is the foundation of ALL relationships and without it you will eventually fail. I have learned that Jesus is the One and Only Healer and that the power of prayer will save a life. I have learned that marrying the right person will be the single most important decision of your life other than the one to follow Jesus.
In two days I leave for a trip to California where I will meet one of my very favorites for four days. Many have said that I have earned such a break. I disagree. I believe that though I will enjoy every second of my time, my place and my heart are here with my girls and my husband who could use the same four days he has gifted me. And though my body will relish in the rest, I have not earned it by being a faithful wife or a mother that loves her kids more than herself. That is what is expected of me by my Maker, by the One that loved me enough to give my these babies and that man that provides for us. All that to say that I cannot freaking WAIT to see Meg and enjoy myself.
39 will be another year of my life spend doing exactly that is expected of me with all that He gives me. I will enjoy it. I will rest when He allows it and work when He expects it. My wishes? To rest more than I work. To see my family more. To make some memories with these girls and to look forward to the rest of my life.
Happy Birthday to me!!
Melanie
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