Friday, May 9, 2014

Happy Mother's Day Sissy.

As Mother's Day approaches I cannot help but think of the women who have impacted my life the most.  You have all heard me talk about my mom, the completely dedicated, incredibly insane Janet.  And if you have not please click on the link and read my earlier post about what an incredible mom and grandmother she is.  And yes, she gets a lot of credit for who I am today and what kind of mom I am.  But there is another woman who I have to give credit to.  Someone who has shaped me almost daily for my entire life.  Someone who raised me and loved me and protected me in ways only she could.  My sister. 

Steph, Sam and Mel
For those of you who do not know Stephanie, think of me and then think of everything that is opposite of me....and that is Steph.  Though I have to say that the older we get the more we seem to look alike, other than that we are very different. Steph is quiet and calm and brutally sarcastic. She stands off to the sidelines and if she hugs you then you must be someone she knows really well and likes.  She teaches special needs kids for a living and has heart for them, like any one who has that job must.  We live differently.  What we find important, interesting, aggravating and exciting are usually not the same things.  We married completely different men and we raise our kids in different ways.  So you would think that as sisters we would tolerate each other, and enjoy holidays but probably not be very close.  You would be wrong. 

The truth is that we are 15 months apart and I am not sure that had we been twins we would be any closer than we are today.  We have always been close. We shared the same friends, dance in the same dances, played on the same ball team.  We walked with each other through high school, and even graduated together. As adults she is my go too.  Much to mom's dismay she is who I called each time I had a positive pregnancy test. ;)  And I am pretty sure I knew about hers even before Robby!!  I tell her all of my secrets and Doc knows it.  I call her when I am failing as a mom a teacher a daughter or a friend and she does the same. 

Steph is the mom of two teenagers.  And if you are the mom of teenagers I have to imagine that you understand that daily she feels like she is missing the mark.  If they are not mad at her then she is on the cusp of making a decision that will make them that way at all times.  Ugh I do not look forward to this stage.  As a result she is frustrated, defeated and worried that she isn't doing it right.  I try to encourage her but truthfully I have no idea how to raise teenagers ;)  But then today when I was thinking about Mother's Day I realized that I did have something to share that may make her breathe a little easier as this holiday that seems to honor us even when we feel we don't deserve it approaches. 

Steph, Mel, and Mike (our little brother)
You see much of who I am I owe to my sister.  I am certain that the things she protected me from as a child allowed my heart to be softer than her heart is.  And the way that she drug me around with her everywhere she went gave me the courage to make friends much easier than I would have as a 6 year old with a brace on my leg on my own.  Her brutal honesty was ingrained into me whether I wanted it or not and as a result I have been able to be the sounding board for my closest friends and speak truth to them knowing that they will love me anyway.  She was fearless when I was scared but today we are both fearless because she taught me not to be afraid and to stand up for myself.  She protected me from the truth more times than I will ever know and because of that I dreamed more than she did, loved harder and had more fun. 

She comforts me.  She is who I wish was close when I am sick or scared and she knows that and so does everyone else.  The day that we went into the hospital and they told us Josie was coming and she would not make it, I look at Shawn at 4:40 AM in that ER and I said "I need my sister.  Will you please call her and tell her, I know she will come." And she did and her presence brought me peace, just as it always has.    In the five years we have lived in TN I have had countless breakdowns that my husband has witnessed and almost all of them have included in a very loud voice " AND I MISS MY SISTER!!"  And I do.  Everyday.

Robby, Steph and Savannah (her youngest)
So as you can see, my sweet sister, you are an amazing mother.  You are strong and honest and comforting and tough.  And all of these things will shape those kids of yours into adults that love and respect and cherish you just like I do.  And yes, one day not too long from now they will be off to college and they will miss you and realize just how much they need you. And it will be then that you realize what an incredible mom you are.  But for now, I hope this helps ;).

Happy Mother's Day to all of the women in my life that have helped shaped me and to the best friend and sister I could ever ask for!!!

I love you sissy.


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