Praying for speed bumps.

Once again it is snowing in TN and I find myself wondering why, when we could have picked anywhere on the planet to live and start our practice, did we choose middle TN?  But just as quickly as I begin to wander off my thoughts are pulled back to the real world and what is happening in my life right now, today. 

Yesterday I drove home from ATL after burying one of my oldest friend's mother.  She died entirely too young from a life long battle with diabetes.  The day that she died one of my favorites miscarried her first baby and on my ride home I was notified of the death of a sweet lady that I have been praying for.  Her name was Jacque and she lost a battle with melanoma.  Jacque literally sacrificed herself for her baby girl.  She showed true courage and unwavering faith throughout her pregnancy and battle with cancer. Jacque and I have never met but I will look for her when I cross through those gates and hug her tightly letting her know how much I admire her giving up her own life for the life of her sweet child. 

It seems that the week has been bombarded with bad news, loss, tragedy, frustration.  So much so that I wonder what God is doing up there? Vacation perhaps?  I mean don't get me wrong, He has earned a trip to Mexico all inclusive for at least ten days. But I keep thinking it would be nice if He would check His email while He is there because I have sent Him a few.

As I sit here eating the world's best pound cake that was a late birthday present from my sweet mother in law and drinking a cup of decaf wishing it was spiked with Baileys, I try not to let the anxiety overwhelm me.  But it does.  You see my friends, the week is not over.  It is only Thursday and I am not fortune teller and I cannot see into the future but I do know for a fact that my week and the months that follow hinge soley on one phone call that has yet to come, and it is 12:36PM.  A phone call that may come today, or may come tomorrow, but it is coming and it will still be this week.  A phone call that will change our lives.  A phone call that could impact us for months or years, but will impact us nonetheless.  A phone call that me and my loved ones wait for with anticipation, fear, anxiety and countless prayers.  These prayers have by passed His email, and were left at the front desk of that hotel in Mexico. 

It is days like this, weeks like this that remind me, just as I was reminded last March, that we do not get to choose.  Our gift was life, not control.  Our Lord and Saviour is behind the wheel and we better just hold on tight for the ride and hope that the speed bumps He hits are small and the potholes are few and far between.  I have had my share of speed bumps in the last year and one pothole that claimed a tire or two.  Today, as I sit and finish my coffee I am praying for two things, a phone call and a speed bump rather than a pothole. 

Love and Blessings,
Melanie

P.S. WE GOT OUR SPEED BUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PRAISE JESUS!!!

Happy Birthday to Me!

Today I am 36 years old and honestly, it doesn't bother me near as much as I thought it would.  The older I get the more I realize that life really has nothing to do with age.  I mean sure if you are 36 there are some things that you cannot do like you could if you were 18.  But most of those things are overrated anyway. 

My thirties have been the best years of my life.  The hardest, most emotional, exhausting, sober, longest, shortest, best years of my life. When I was 31 I married the most humble, wonderful, hard working man I had ever met and he came with a beautiful pair of dimples.  When I was 32 I delivered an amazing little girl with big blue eyes that is tied for the spot of my very best friend in the entire world.  When I was 34 I delivered another blue eyed honey that I like to call "the love of my life".   At 35 I gave birth to a little boy.  A little boy that I was blessed to be the only one that ever got to know him alive  A little boy that changed our lives and the lives of everyone that loves us. A little boy that lives in the big blue eyes of my girls that I look into everyday. 

I am humbled by the love of my parents, overwhelmed by the devotion of my husband, bombarded by friendship from my sister and brother and in awe of the beauty of my children.  I have four of the most wonderful women in the world that I get to call my best friends. My Nana is still alive and knows my babies. 

My marriage is strong

and my kids are

healthy.  

I am certain that I am one of the most blessed women in the world and I am so much more than thankful for it.  I am happy and exhausted and full and empty and loved and selfish and crazy and fun and overwhelmed and lonely and busy and full of flaws and imperfections and all I can do today is smile.  Smile knowing that I am doing exactly what I want to do everyday; raising my girls, loving my husband and worshiping the One and only God.  I am 36 years old and I have no idea how it can get better than this.  

Happy Birthday to Me.  Thank you all for making it a wonderful day but more than that thank you for blessing my life. 

xoxoxo

Melanie