Their First Communion

Last night my family and I attended a Family Night at Grace Chapel church.  We had been looking forward to it for a while.  Grace always does things 110% and you never leave disappointed.  Last night was no exception.  I was excited. Excited the girls would be with us in "big church".  Excited they would hear the music and the baby dedications.  Excited to spend an evening with my family, all of them, including Jesus.  Little did I know how amazing it would be. 

As a parent there have been many things I have look forward too.  First steps, first words, first "I love you mommy", first please and thank you, and in my house first "yes ma'am" ;). These and many more milestones and firsts have crowded my heart with anticipation.  But there was one first I was not prepared for.  One first I had not thought of.  One first that caught me completely and utterly off guard.  That first happened last night. 

The service was only and hour and 15 minutes.  They did a little skit, worshipped with music (unfortunately for Kathryne they did NOT play Glory to God and she was a bit put out by this), and then the pastor spoke of family and unity.  I stood with my babies watching them take it all in. Watching their eyes and their smiles as they examined other people, other families, worshipping the One and Only God.  Seeing them watch other Mamas and Daddys with their hands held high (yes we go to one of THOSE churches) singing and praying.  It was wonderful. I listened to Jesus as He spoke to me. I audibly heard Him as He told me "These are your babies.  I have blessed you with their lives and their spirits.  Enjoy them, love them and be content".  I felt genuine shame for my greed in wanting ANOTHER baby.  I squeezed my Presley Rose tight and breathed a quiet but firm "Yes Sir" to my Heavenly Father as tears ran down my face. 

The girls got antsy as the night went on.  Once the music stopped they colored as we listened.  And then it happened.  The sermon was over and the pastor explained that we, all of us, were going to do communion.  I looked over at Doc and whispered "do the girls do it too!?" he nodded and smiled.  So we sat and we waited our turn and when it came up we went as a family to get our "cracker and juice" (which by the way is the body of Christ and the blood He shed for our sins).  But in my family it was crackers and juice.  We waited as patiently as we could for the rest of the congregation to join us.  All the while Presley whispering (in a Melanie whisper which is NOT that quiet) "mama, do I get a cracker too?".  Oh my sweet babies.  They have gone 4 and 2 and a half years without a Ritz cracker or a Goldfish or any kind of cracker for that matter.  They were so looking forward to their little cracker.  I nodded assuring her that once all the other kids got one, we would eat.  And then it was time.  The pastor spoke and I handed that sweet blue eyed little person her cracker.  She ate it with the same big smile on her face that her mama had but for a completely different reason.  I looked over at Kat sitting beside her daddy carefully drinking her juice grinning ear to ear and the tears just came.  There I was with my family all of us recognizing the death of our Saviour on the Cross.  All four of us sharing in the body of Christ and the blood that He shed.  I smiled, I cried, and looked at their daddy that was doing both. 

I had never even thought about it.  I guess I knew one day they would take communion but I did not know when it would be or that I would be there.  It was not a first that I had dreamt of or imagined.  But it was a first that I will never, ever, forget.  We spent the next few minutes with my spirited Presley Rose begging for another cracker, I have to imagine Jesus was just giggling as He watched. 

^{1 Corinthians 11: 23} For I received from the Lord what I also passed on to you: The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, took bread, ²⁴ and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, “This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.” ²⁵ In the same way, after supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me.” ²⁶ For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.

He will come my friends.  Probably, hopefully, sooner than we think. He will come and He will save us, all of us, from this sick, perverted, wretched world that we live in.  This world full of death and pain and sickness and sin. He will come and He will take home those that believe He is the Son of God and  acknowledge that He died and rose for our sins and our eternal life.  And the ones that believe now, the ones that acknowledged who He is and what He has done for us today in the middle of the chaos of this world, the ones that give their heart to Him and live to spread the Good Word for the Kingdom, they are the ones that get to go first.  I don't know about you, but I want to go first.  I want to be in the front of the line waiting eagerly to cross to the other side of the veil.  The side where there is nothing but Joy and Love and Beauty.  The side where some of the people I love most in the world live.  The side that houses my Heavenly Father and my baby boy.  So until He comes I will live for Him, praying for the heart and the guidance to make the kinds of decisions that will get me to the front of that line. I hope to see you there fighting me for my spot. ;) 

Blessings Friends,
Melanie

Psalm 91 - Presley Rose

I am an addict.  It is in me, it runs through my blood.  In my other life, which is what I call life before Doc, I was a smoker and a drinker.  Truth be told, I loved both and if they weren't body and relationship killers I would still be smoking a Marlboro Light and drinking a glass of red wine every night.  Addiction runs in my family and we all use stress as an excuse.  Our addictions range from heavy drugs to marshmallows and everything in between.  It's the devil, he is in us, all of us.  When Doc and I got married I quit smoking and drinking.  It has been six years since I have had either.  I would say that if I had to pick something that I replaced them with it would be coffee. That would be my latest addiction.  Not the caffeine because I drink decaf 99% of the time.  Just the coffee.  It soothes me and when I am stressed, like today, I could drink a whole pot.  But as luck would have it I made a deal with one of my favorites and I have vowed to give up coffee in return for his cigarettes.  Days like this it seems like a ridiculous trade, but a deal is a deal and truthfully if he quits I will never drink another cup.  So, today my drug of choice (don't laugh) is hot coconut mango tea.  Oh the life of a chiropractors wife. ;) 

So here I sit typing away drinking my hot tea wishing it was glass of red wine and trying hard not to be stressed.  You see one of my babies doesn't feel good.  And tomorrow will be her second trip to the doctor in her entire life.  Yes, I said second.  Her first was for a purple cast last summer.  My sweet Presley's eyes are bothering her and we have decided it is time to have them checked.  If you know us, you know this was a thought out decision.  We are parents who don't do check ups or sick visits.We have a high deductible plan because in our family insurance is for emergencies.  So for us to concede to take our two year old to an ophthalmologist when she has never even seen a pediatrician, you could say is a big deal. Now don't misunderstand. We are not panicked and we have no reason to believe that it is anything alarming.  But she has complained enough and we have seen enough signs to have her checked out.  Hence the hot tea. 

When you lose a little one, suddenly the mortality of the ones you can still hold becomes terribly obvious. Almost to a hindrance of good choices and sanity at times.  I make myself crazy praying for my girls and their health.  Begging, pleading for them to outlive me because the idea, the thought, the reality of ever losing them takes my breath and makes me feel as if I could vomit.  I check on their breathing at night.  I am horribly aware of anything that changes on their bodies or just in their eyes.  I can tell by their breath how they feel even without complaint.  These little people, the girls, these precious babies are the reason that I live and I am ashamed of the fear I have of losing one of them.  Ashamed that I do not have more trust when it comes to their precious little lives.  And so I pray and I drink tea and I search for peace in the only place I know to find it. 

My life if full of believers and the more I connect the more I realize the importance of surrounding myself with people that know the Word and will direct me when I am lost.  This morning I asked a special group of women to pray for my sweet girl and one of them, whom I have never met, directed me.  She recommended that I pray this over my sweet girl using her name.  I have typed it as if I would read it asking that if you are in a place where it is appropriate that you would read it out loud for us.  You have all carried us for so long and I appreciate, once again, any and all prayers for our family and for our sweet girls.  Our appointment is tomorrow at 8:15 CST.  I will give you all an update as soon as we are done. 

Psalm 91
You, Presley, who sits down in the High God's presence,
Say this: "God, you're my refuge.
I trust in you and I'm safe!"
That's right—he rescues you from hidden traps,
shields you from deadly hazards.
His huge outstretched arms protect you—
under them you, Presley, are perfectly safe;
his arms fend off all harm.
Fear nothing Presley—not wild wolves in the night,
not flying arrows in the day,
Not disease that prowls through the darkness,
not disaster that erupts at high noon.
Even though others succumb all around,
drop like flies right and left,
no harm will even graze you.
You will stand untouched Presley, watch it all from a distance,
watch the wicked turn into corpses.
Yes, because God's your refuge,
the High God your very own home,
Evil can't get close to you sweet baby girl,
harm can't get through the door.
He ordered his angels
to guard you Presley wherever you go.
If you stumble, they'll catch you;
their job is to keep you from falling.
You'll walk unharmed among lions and snakes,
and kick young lions and serpents from the path.
AMEN!!!!

Thank you as always for reading, but most of all for praying!!
Melanie