Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Who Needs Wings When You Have Dimples?

There are moments when life knocks you down and you are just too damn tired to get back up.  Yesterday was my moment.  We have been in this house for a year and for the entire year I have been sick.  We moved in October and not long after I was pregnant with Bennett and had my first hemorrhage.  As I have told you before, the pregnancy was very hard and I was sick the entire time.  After we lost him it took me two months to recover fully from the anemia and BAM I was pregnant again.  For the 11 weeks that I was pregnant with our fourth I actually felt pretty good.  But the loss of that baby resulted in so much blood loss that I was down again.  It has been four weeks since we lost our last baby and this weekend I actually felt almost human.

Doc and I had date day on Sunday.  We went to Nashville and watched the Titans game and ate lunch at the Broadway Brew House.  It was a lot of fun!  It was hot and we walked a lot, but I was up for it FINALLY!!  After the game we made a quick trip to Target and came home to our sweet girls for the evening.  We all went outside to play and Doc cut the grass.  At about 6 PM he got off of the lawn mower saying he was not feeling well.  We all came inside, I took care of the girls for the rest of the evening and poor sweet Doc spent the evening with what we at this point were classifying as an upset stomach.  As the night went on he got worse.  I sat on the sofa watching football and taking care of him as best I could, all the while praying that I did not get whatever it was he had.  There was absolutely no way that my body was ready for a stomach flu or any kind of food poisoning and that is what we were classifying this sickness as at 9 PM.  I went to bed and left Doc on the sofa under a blanket with water and the remote within reach.  I felt just fine and was so thankful!

At midnight all hell broke lose.  I got up knowing that I was in big trouble.  I walked to the other end of the house, grabbed a trash bag just in case I did not make it back, woke up poor sweet Doc who was asleep in the end room and told him his shift with the girls was on, there was no way I could help if they woke up.  I was right.  Now keep in mind folks that I just woke up a man that had been sick for 6 hours with food poisoning and told him to get up and take his two year old to tee tee.  The fact that I even expected him to walk was ridiculous.  But I had no choice.  I was down for the count.  There I was laying in the bathroom floor (you know the one that I hate) and praying that this would not last long.  7 hours later I quit throwing up.  So much for asking God for the little things.;)

I believe that everyone has a guardian angel, some come with wings, others with a money tree, mine happens to come with dimples.  Once again my husband proved to be the amazing man that he is.  I spent all of Monday completely useless.  Usually I bounce back pretty well.  When I was pregnant with Bennett there was a night that  I was sick for three hours and the next day I went into the office and helped Doc.   I made formula at 3 AM the night after my second D&C.  I am telling you folks, I am tough.  I don't know if it was the food poisoning or just the sheer fact that I had to spend another night in the bathroom where the devil lives, but either way I was not able to do anything all day on Monday.  Lifting my head was a chore and I was not willing to attempt it unless absolutely necessary. 

My husband got up Monday morning still sick, called and cancelled his entire day of patients, made the girls breakfast, lunch and dinner (which included some ridiculously yummy chicken soup that Scooter could not get enough of!) changed all of the diapers, cleaned the kitchen, fed me sprite and broth, and finished the day on the lawn mower completing the task that he had started the day before.  I ate the broth and drank the sprite.  Period. 

I have had the worst year of my entire life hands down.  But somehow, in the midst of it all, it has been one of the best years of my life thanks to a man that has strong faith, courage beyond comprehension, determination and a love for me that surpasses anything I have ever dreamed of.  Not a day has gone by that he has not made me laugh or loved on me when I really needed it and the truth is he has gotten his butt kicked just as hard or harder than I have and has not stopped for a moment to rest.  God only gives you what you can handle right?  Or maybe He gives you more than you can handle but someone to walk along side you and carry you when you give out.  At least that is what He has done for me.  In my heart of hearts I know that there is not another man in the world that could have made this past year seem survivable, much less wonderful at times. 

I am thankful for many things in my life and my testimony for my love of the Lord grows everyday with the good and the bad.  But I will tell you this, I did not deserve my husband.    He was a gift that only a Father full of grace and mercy would give to me.   And truthfully, my sweet Doc is the reason that I know that there is Father in heaven that loves me unconditionally and has forgiven me for all of my sins.  If there wasn't, I would be married to a stock broker.


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