Thursday, May 27, 2010

Mamma Mia!

One of my closest friends lives far far away from me. Despite the phone bills, we talk about once a week. Some weeks it's about babies, others about "the business", this week we talked about moms.

My pastor is Andy Stanley, and if you have ever listened to him speak you know that there are times at the very beginning of the message he tells you what he wants you to get out of it so as not to lose you about half way in. I am going to do that for you now. So pay close attention.


There, I said it, I know you cringed, but aren't you glad it is over?!

The truth is ladies, no matter how you look at it, what angle you take, or how hard you fight it, you are very similar, if not exactly like your mama. I know, some of you are resisting this statement. Some of you are naming traits in your head right now, or you may even be making a dreaded list of how you are not like your mom. But, I am sorry to tell you, you are. Obviously, there are many of us that are not exactly like our moms. But, in some way, shape or form, she's in there.

It makes perfect sense, for most us our mother is who raised us, who spent the most time with us, who molded us into the adults (functional or not) that we are. I'll use my family for example.

Stephanie and I have always been different. We don't do things the same, we don't live the same way, we don't raise our kids just like one another and that is just fine with both of us. So, you would assume that one of us is just like mom and the other is not at all like her. This is where you are wrong and I am making my point. Both of us, are very similar to my mother in many ways. For instance, my mom is a terrible napper, when she wakes up from a nap her mood, unlike most, is worse rather than better, this is me. My mom was a yeller when we were kids, this one goes to Steph. My mom has a tough exterior but on the inside she is a big softy, this one also goes to Steph. My mom tells it just like it is, no matter what. Betcha can't guess who got that one! ;) So you see, even though Steph and I are very different, we are both very much like my mom in many ways just as she is, much to her dismay, a lot like her own mother.

(My mama and Carson)

I get that this is not exactly what everyone wants to hear. I understand that many people have mothers that drive them clear up the wall, and probably have used the statement "If I ever act like my mom (fill in the blank). My mom's favorite was always "just shoot me"! But truthfully friends, what's so bad about being like your mama? There are a lot of things about my mama that I think are great. Now, there are things about her (mom I don't have time to go over these today) that I would work on not replicating, but she would be the first to tell you that she is not perfect!

I know that just like the rest of us, our kids will grow up fighting against the inevitable grain and lose. I am certain my girls will have countless conversations, with me as the topic, discussing what NOT do. But, I will smile when I am older and see myself in them. I will be proud of the women that I have raised and tickled that even though they picked up some of my bad habits, they also learned a lot from me. I pray that what I do wrong, they will do better with their kids and what I do right, they will appreciate. I will not be insulted when they do it differently than I did and I hope that I will be supportive of their choices even if they are not the ones that I made. I am sure there will be times that I fail miserably at this, and all I can do is pray that I have raised them to love me, be honest with me and come to me despite any differences we may have.

The truth is we get one shot with our kids, and as I always say, "they are mine to ruin". We don't get a do-over, we can't rewind, and we aren't Jesus so doing it perfect the first time is not an option. Our moms did the best they could, their moms did the best they could and I am certain that we are all doing the best we can!

Blessings to you and your mamas friends!!

1 comment:

  1. Just a quick note to say that this quote; from another of your blogs shows ONE way that you and Stephanie are very much ALIKE...GREAT MAMAS!

    " My talent is being a mom. I love being a mom, I eat, breathe and live for it. There is no sacrifice too great, no obstacle too difficult, there is absolutely nothing that would keep me from being the best mom I can to my girls! I practice everyday and I give 100%. Isn't that what people do with true talent?"

    in fact I am sure you heard me say more than a few times, "the ONLY thing I ever wanted to be was a MAMA" To be entrusted with a helpless baby, to be responsible for giving them unconditional love, to nuture them, to teach them the things they will need to know to prepare them for life "on their own" one day, is the most amazing, wonderful, thankless, difficult, taxing, fulfilling, JOB, you could ever imagine! BUT whoever said the PAY is lousy...well they must NOT have loved it the way I do, or realized that each moment with a child IS magical, whether they are newborn, or thirty-something, when you stop and realize that moment once spent can never be had again...and look at the miracle in front of your eyes, and the love and trust in
    THEIR eyes...Well, MONEY does not hold a candle to that!
    And Like me, or like your Daddy, you are all exceptional adults with big hearts, that love completely, you are all smart, and selfless, and honest (sometimes to a fault) I won't say who you got which charateristic from; of course...I guess maybe a little from both...and then the rest you each developed from you own life experiences. Being a "Mama" for me is the BEST thing I have ever done, the greatest BLESSING I have been given!